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You are applying for a job and need a letter of reference from someone who knew you when you were at school. v.2

You are applying for a job and need a letter of reference from someone who knew you when you were at school. v. 2
Dear Mr George, Hope you and your family are doing well. I am Mark Thomas, one of your past students, writing for your reference for a job I am going to apply to. I am hoping that you would write me a recommendation letter that my prospective employer is expecting. I am delighted to inform you that I am applying for a position in Morgan's Incorporation. This is a dream job for me and working for a reputable company like Morgan's Incorporation will enable me to gain valuable experiences and give wings to my career. One of the requirements for applying to this job is a reference letter from a known person from my school whose words count. Being an international student, I don't know many people here who are worthy of such a recommendation. I will highly appreciate if you provide me with a reference letter which requires some basic information about me and my studies and how can I be a suitable candidate for the junior executive position in an international company. The company needs this letter before the end of July. I would like to request you to provide me with the letter as early as possible. I will be indebted to you for the favour. Yours sincerely, Mark Thomas
Dear Mr George,

Hope you and your family are doing well. I am Mark Thomas, one of your past students, writing for your reference for a job I am going to apply to. I am hoping that you would write me a recommendation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
letter
that my prospective employer is expecting.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am delighted
to inform you that I am applying for a position in Morgan's Incorporation. This is a dream job for me and working for a reputable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
like Morgan's Incorporation will enable me to gain valuable experiences and give wings to my career.

One of the requirements for applying to this job is a reference
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
letter
from a known person from my school whose words count. Being an international student, I don't know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
here who are worthy of such a recommendation. I will
highly
appreciate if you provide me with a reference
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
letter
which requires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic information about me and my studies and how can I be a suitable candidate for the junior executive position in an international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
needs this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
letter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of July.

I would like to request you to provide me with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
letter
as early as possible. I will
be indebted
to you for the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
.

Yours
sincerely
,

Mark Thomas
0Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS letter You are applying for a job and need a letter of reference from someone who knew you when you were at school. v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
212 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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