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you and some of the students recently organised a fashion show at your school to raise money for charity write an email to your friend about fashion show in you

you and some of the students recently organised a fashion show at your school to raise money for charity write an email to your friend about fashion show in you mXaLA
Dear Hawsa, How are you? Sorry I haven't written to you for so long because I was busy with an organisation. Anyways, I thought I'd drop you a line to tell you what happened so far. Me and my friends organised a fashion show raised for charity to help kids with lung cancer. As you know, I love helping people in need and seeing an opportunity to help someone coming my way, I won't love to miss it. My class had so much fun decorating the school playground. We added some colorful lights and pretty chairs. The tickets were cheap, it was a dollar per child and two dollars per adults. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw many people actually came. Everyone had fun, eating, chatting and ofcourse watching the stunning models. It was great! That's all for now. Write soon and tell me about the lemon charity held in your country, everyone is talking about. Best wishes, Nada
Dear
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hawsa
, How are you? Sorry I haven't written to you for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
long
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I was busy with an
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
. Anyways, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
I'd drop you a line to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you what happened
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far.

When referring to yourself and somebody else, put their name first. Also check whether the nominative form "I" is required here.
Me
and my friends
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
a fashion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
raised for charity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
kids with lung cancer. As you know, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
helping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in need and seeing an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
someone
The verb 'an' is used with an infinitive: "to come" or "come".
coming
my way, I won't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to miss it.

My
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much fun decorating the school playground. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
colorful lights and pretty chairs. The tickets were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
, it was a dollar per child and two dollars per adults.

I couldn't believe my eyes when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
actually came. Everyone had fun, eating, chatting and
Possible spelling mistake found.
ofcourse
watching the stunning models. It was great!

That's all for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. Write
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
me about the lemon charity held in your country, everyone is talking about.

Best wishes,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nada

IELTS letter you and some of the students recently organised a fashion show at your school to raise money for charity write an email to your friend about fashion show in you

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
160 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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