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you an your family is moving to another country, ask a property agent to help you in finding a house

you an your family is moving to another country, ask a property agent to help you in finding a house GWGrm

Dear Mr. Williams, My family and I are planning to relocate to a new country, and we require expert assistence to acquire a leased property in the area. Both my spouse and I are working in the field of health care and law respectively. We are blessed with 3 kids, out of those 2 are school going. We are a peace loving family and appreciate a quiet neighborhood. We would appreciate if you could help us close a lease on a 2 story townhouse, with atleast 4 bedrooms, storage room and a parking space. The house must be close to school and hospitals as it would be convenient for my family to commute. In addition of that, we would like to stay within the reach of city. Sincerely, Harsh

Dear Mr. Williams,

My family and I are planning to relocate to a new country, and we require expert Possible spelling mistake found.assistance
assistence
 to acquire a leased property in the area.

Both my spouse and I are working in the field of health care and law respectively
. We are blessed
 with 3 kids, out of those 2 are school going. We are a peace loving family and appreciate a quiet neighborhood.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
We
 would appreciate if you could This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :assistassistance
help
 us close a lease on a When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "2-story"2-story
2 story
 townhouse, with Possible spelling mistake found.at least
atleast
 4 bedrooms, storage room and a parking space.

The This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :residence
house
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :require
must
 be close to school and hospitals as it would be convenient for my family to commute. In Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?addition,
addition
 of that, we would like to stay within the reach of city.

Sincerely
,

Harsh

IELTS letter you an your family is moving to another country, ask a property agent to help you in finding a house

Letter

American English

7 paragraphs

128 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
?
Include an introduction and conclusion
?
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.0

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 5.0

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
?
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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