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Writing to apply for new job

Writing to apply for new job 2RDYj
Dear Sir, I am writing to apply for the job of International Summer Camp which was advertised in the net. I graduated from Uzbekistan State world language university this year with a bachelor degree in translation theory. I am presently working as a English tutor in the language center for the last two months. Prior to that, I worked as an educator in a kindergarten during the summer season. Besides, I can speak fluent German and Russian except English. I love working with youngs. I am naturally patient and kind. Furthermore, I have good behavior so I am not inconstant person and I try to work perfectly under pressure. I have enclosed a copy of my CV. I would be glad to attend an interview at any time convenient to you. Yours faithfully Nargiza Ermatova
Dear Sir, I am writing to apply for the job of International Summer Camp which
was advertised
in the net. I graduated from Uzbekistan State world language university this year with a bachelor degree in translation theory. I am
presently
working as
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
English tutor in the language center for the last two months. Prior to that, I worked as an educator in a kindergarten during
Consider using "summer".
the summer season
.
Besides
, I can speak fluent German and Russian except English. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
working with
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "young", the plural form of the noun 'young'?
youngs
. I am
naturally
patient and kind.
Furthermore
, I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
behavior
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I am not inconstant person and I try to work
perfectly
under pressure. I have enclosed a copy of my CV. I would be glad to attend an interview at any time convenient to you. Yours
faithfully
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nargiza
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
Ermatova
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IELTS letter Writing to apply for new job

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
134 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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