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write an emial to reply teacher's invitaion to joining sports day

write an emial to reply teacher's invitaion to joining sports day G3GWw
Dear Mr. Grenn, I have received your email in the morning but I was so sorry because I could not reply to it sooner. That is a good idea if you organize a school sports day on 23 June. This is a chance for me to meet everyone and participate. In my opinion, I think running race is better than a football tournament. Because it is suitable for everyone even girls while a football tournament may be more interesting for boys. Small prizes will be a good choice. It encourages participants a lot. I think we are really excited if we become winners and get gifts. The more people, the more happiness. I think you should send an email to invite parents to the sports day. Their appearances are a big motivation for us who attend the competition. Thank you for inviting me to join your event. I certainly participate in and make an effort to win. Love! Thao
Dear Mr.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Grenn
,

I have received your email in the morning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
sorry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I could not reply to it sooner.

That is
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
if you organize a school sports day on 23 June. This is a chance for me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
everyone and participate. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
running race is better than a football tournament.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it is suitable for everyone even girls while a football tournament may be more interesting for boys.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Small
prizes will be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
choice. It encourages participants a lot. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
we are
really
excited if we become winners and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
gifts.

The more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, the more happiness. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
you should
Consider using "email".
send an email to
invite parents to the sports day. Their appearances are a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
motivation for us who attend the competition.

Thank you for inviting me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
. I
certainly
participate in and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an effort to win.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Love
!

Possible spelling mistake found.
Thao

IELTS letter write an emial to reply teacher's invitaion to joining sports day

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
158 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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