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Write an email of about 150–200 words to the bank and explain the change in your finances. Make a request to change the amount of money you pay back each month. Your email should include the following things: the amount of money you borrowed and the current repayment schedule why you borrowed the money how your income has changed and why it has changed how you would like to change the amount of money you pay each month.

Write an email of about 150–200 words to the bank and explain the change in your finances. Make a request to change the amount of money you pay back each month. Your email should include the following things: the amount of money you borrowed and the current repayment schedule why you borrowed the money how your income has changed and why it has changed how you would like to change the amount of money you pay each month. 6Db3
To whom it may concern, During the fall of 2010, I successfully applied for a small business loan from the Greater National Bank. With the $100, 000 I received, I was able to open a shop that creates custom shoes for the elderly. As part of the condition of the loan, my monthly payments were to be in instalments of $500. Due to the ever changing global economy, my small shoe shop has become quite the popular online shopping experience. The yearly gross profits have increased by over %250 over the last 4 years. Now that the business has become highly profitable, I wish to increase the payment size of my business loan. I feel that a monthly payment of $1, 000 is now financially feasible and responsible for the longevity of the business. I have calculated that if the profit margins continue at this pace, the business will be able to pay off the entirety of the loan by 2025. Please contact me at your earliest convenience so that we may adjust the details of the loan. I look forward to our continued business and appreciate all the help that your bank has provided. Thank you for your time. Sincerely, Cherise Conway CEO, Grandma's Shoes
To whom it may concern,

During the fall of 2010, I
successfully
applied for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
from the Greater National Bank. With the $100, 000 I received, I was able to open a shop that creates custom shoes for the elderly. As part of the condition of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
, my monthly payments were to be in
Possible spelling mistake. 'instalments' is British English.
instalments
of $500.

Due to the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ever changing
global economy, my
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
shoe shop has become quite the popular online shopping experience. The yearly gross profits have increased by over %250 over the last 4 years.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
has become
highly
profitable, I wish to increase the payment size of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
. I feel that a monthly payment of $1, 000 is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
financially
feasible and responsible for the longevity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. I have calculated that if the profit margins continue at this pace, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
will be able to pay off the entirety of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
by 2025.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
contact me at your earliest convenience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we may adjust the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
. I look forward to our continued
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and appreciate all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
that your bank has provided. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Cherise
Conway

CEO, Grandma's Shoes

IELTS letter Write an email of about 150–200 words to the bank and explain the change in your finances. Make a request to change the amount of money you pay back each month. Your email should include the following things: the amount of money you borrowed and the current repayment schedule why you borrowed the money how your income has changed and why it has changed how you would like to change the amount of money you pay each month.

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
205 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Write an email of about 150–200 words to the bank and explain the change in your finances. Make a request to change the amount of money you pay back each month. Your email should include the following things: the amount of money you borrowed and the current repayment schedule why you borrowed the money how your income has changed and why it has changed how you would like to change the amount of money you pay each month.