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Write a letter to your manager explaining the problem facing with your computer.

Write a letter to your manager explaining the problem facing with your computer. oAeV
Dear Mr. Kakkar, I am writing in regards to the difficulties, which I am experiencing while operating my computer. First of all, the key issue with the monitor, all of the sudden, it becomes a blur. Due to that I loose my concentration on work. This hazy display could harm my eye too as sometime I need to work round the clock. Moreover, it dams slow while working with multiple applications. As I said, my PC performance is not up to the mark while doing multitasking. System creates lots of trouble when performing day-to-day work and took almost a minute to switch from one task to another. Currently, I am working on a critical client's project which requires not only more attention but also extra hours to complete it. With this computer's speed, it will be pretty challenging to meet the deadline. I would like you to intervene and ask to assign a system engineer, who can thoroughly examine my system for any suspected issue. One more thing, If possible, please replace it with the new machine with good configuration so that I can merely work without any further hindrance. I look forward to hearing from you. Your sincerely, Lalit
Dear Mr.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kakkar
,

I am writing
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
in regards to
the difficulties, which I am experiencing while operating my computer.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the key issue with the monitor,
This phrase is nonstandard. Did you mean "all of a sudden"?
all of the sudden
, it becomes a blur. Due to that I
Did you mean "lose" (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
my concentration on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. This hazy display could harm my eye too as sometime I need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
round the clock.
Moreover
, it dams slow while working with multiple applications.

As I said, my PC performance is not up to the mark while doing multitasking. System creates lots of trouble when performing day-to-day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and took almost a minute to switch from one task to another.
Currently
, I am working on a critical client's project which requires not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
more attention
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
extra hours to complete it. With this computer's speed, it will be pretty challenging to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the deadline.

I would like you to intervene and ask to assign a system engineer, who can
thoroughly
examine my system for any suspected issue. One more thing, If possible,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
replace it with the new machine with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
configuration
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can
merely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
without any
further
hindrance.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Did you mean "Yours"? (complimentary close)
Your
sincerely
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Lalit
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IELTS letter Write a letter to your manager explaining the problem facing with your computer.

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
199 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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