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Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?

Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? 3QKm
Hi, I strongly disgree with this by sending parents to the old age home. Because when we are kids father and mother dosen't think about to send us out of the house. They used to enjoy the life with childrens and they never treated us a problem for them even when they faced up's and down in their life. But many people thinks that the world became very fast and earning money itself a biggest challenge in their life. So they decided to take their parents to the old age home to care more on them since they thought they could not spend much time with them. I conclude that, Atleast they could spend money to take care of old people if not spend time with them. They should treat this as their duty. It will make old people spend some time happy with others. Thanks, Bharath
Hi,

I
strongly
Possible spelling mistake found.
disgree
with this by sending parents to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
age home.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
when we are kids father and mother
Possible spelling mistake found.
dosen
't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
us out of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to enjoy the life with
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
childrens and
they never treated us a problem for them even when they faced up's and down in their life.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
thinks
that the world became
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and earning money itself
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
biggest challenge in their life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they decided to take their parents to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
age home to care more on them since they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
they could not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
much time with them.

I conclude that,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Atleast
they could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
money to take care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
if not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
time with them. They should treat this as their duty. It will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time happy with others.

Thanks,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Bharath

IELTS letter Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
146 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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