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Write a letter to the school

Write a letter to the school alDmd
Dear Sir, My name is Nargiza from Uzbekistan, I have recently registered as a student of your school in English course so I am writing to you this letter to take more information about your school 's performance, fees structure and syllabus. I would be grateful if you could send me details about the school. First of all, I want my accommodation near to your academy because I don't like to much more travel. I would like to live with host family because I believe that will be helpful for learning English perfectly and also this will be helpful for our school 's performance too. Secondly, I am following a diet here several months and I could be continued there also when I will reach. I would be grateful if you could arrange the facilities for my diet accommodation. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Your's faithfully Nargiza
Dear Sir, My name is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nargiza
from Uzbekistan, I have recently registered as a student of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in English course
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I am writing to you this letter to take more information about your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
's performance, fees structure and syllabus. I would be grateful if you could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I want my accommodation near to your academy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I don't like to much more travel. I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with host family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I believe that will be helpful for learning English
perfectly
and
also
this will be helpful for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
's performance too.
Secondly
, I am following a diet here several months and I could
be continued
there
also
when I will reach. I would be grateful if you could arrange the facilities for my diet accommodation. I look forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.
Did you mean "Your" or "Yours"?
Your's
faithfully
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
Nargiza
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IELTS letter Write a letter to the school

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
149 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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