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Write a letter to the Accommodation Officer at the college and ask for a new room next term. You would prefer a single room. Explain your reasons.

Write a letter to the Accommodation Officer at the college and ask for a new room next term. You would prefer a single room. Explain your reasons. 9wLoj
Dear Accommodation Officer, I am writing to you, due to the fact I have been having troubles with my roommate who has been inviting friends and having parties most of the time, as far as I concern, there are rules every student must follow but it is not the case. This sort of situations are increasing their frequency and I can not study even maintain the concentration to finish my duties. Furthermore, there are personal things that they took without my permission, for instance, my books, when I schedule in advance to study some material I could not because some of them took from my desk. For these reasons, I would like to consider to arrange a single room for me, as you know this stage of life can have rebounds to my career. I hope you drill down into my situation to place me into another building which encourage me with better environment to concentrate properly.
Dear Accommodation Officer,

I am writing to you, due to the fact I have been having troubles with my roommate who has been inviting friends and having parties most of the time, as far as I concern, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
every student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
follow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not the case. This sort of situations
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "is"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'are' is not always incorrect.)
are
increasing their frequency and I can not study even maintain the concentration to finish my duties.

Furthermore
, there are personal things that they took without my permission,
for instance
, my books, when I schedule in advance to study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
material I could not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them took from my desk. For these reasons, I would like to
The verb 'consider' is used with the gerund form: "consider arranging".
consider to arrange
a single room for me, as you know this stage of life can have rebounds to my career.

I hope you drill down into my situation to place me into another building which encourage me with better environment to concentrate
properly
.
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IELTS letter Write a letter to the Accommodation Officer at the college and ask for a new room next term. You would prefer a single room. Explain your reasons.

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
157 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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