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there was a potluck for celebrating Canada Day

there was a potluck for celebrating Canada Day Awjqe
Dear Canada Day community picnic organizer Thank you for the wonderful event last weekend. I had an enjoyable time interacting with the community on such an important celebration in Canada. I noticed on the day that participants did not include a list of ingredients for the dishes they brought to the potluck. There are individuals including myself who have some food allergies such as those related to nuts and seafood. The allergies can in some cases be fatal which is why a list of ingredients would be helpful to better assist individuals to make the right food choices based on their allergies. May I suggest that for the event next year, that participants are requested to supply a list of ingredients to go with the dishes they bring to the potluck to avoid any issues that may occur from an individual eating a tainted item that may aggravate their food allergy. I believe that having the list of ingredients will be widely received and will mean that people can be more involved in the event and try the various dishes without risking their health. Thank you for your consideration and I look forward to another wonderful event next year.
Dear Canada Day community picnic organizer

Thank you for the wonderful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
last weekend. I had an enjoyable time interacting with the community on such an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
celebration in Canada.

I noticed on the day that participants did not include a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
list
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ingredients
for the dishes they brought to the potluck. There are individuals including myself who have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
food allergies such as those related to nuts and seafood. The allergies can in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases be fatal which is why a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
list
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ingredients
would be helpful to better assist individuals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the right food choices based on their allergies.

May I suggest that for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
next
year, that participants
are requested
to supply a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
list
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ingredients
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
the dishes they bring to the potluck to avoid any issues that may occur from an individual eating a tainted item that may aggravate their food allergy.

I believe that having the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
list
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ingredients
will be
widely
received and will mean that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can be more involved in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
and try the various dishes without risking their health.

Thank you for your consideration and I look forward to another wonderful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
next
year.
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IELTS letter there was a potluck for celebrating Canada Day

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
199 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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