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write a letter to a hospital for unpAID JOB

write a letter to a hospital for unpAID JOB Dop5A
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing in connection with the advertisement in the green newspaper about voluntary work in your hospital. I am, therefore, enclosing my resume for your consideration. As my resume indicates, I have a very strong background in psychology clinic. I am studying psychology in Harvard university and it is essential for students to have contact with patients that need therapy. It is part of my education course. My present job is in a private clinic that is unpaid job too but working there is not convenient for me because of two reasons, one of them is long distance from my house and the other one is the number of patients are limited. I can be effective even in different parts of hospital, for instance, talking and preparing patients for surgery also makes calm and help who has mental problems. So that I will be able start my job at the first of the June. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Marziye sarbandi
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing in connection with the advertisement in the green newspaper about voluntary work in your hospital. I am,
therefore
, enclosing my resume for your consideration.

As my resume indicates, I have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strong background in psychology clinic. I am studying psychology in
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Harvard university
and it is essential for students to have contact with patients that need therapy. It is part of my education course.

My present job is in a private clinic
that is
unpaid job too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
working there is not convenient for me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of two reasons, one of them is long distance from my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and the other one is the number of patients
are limited
. I can be effective even in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of hospital,
for instance
, talking and preparing patients for surgery
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
calm and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
who has mental problems.
“So that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So that
I will be able
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
my job at the
first
of the June.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours
faithfully
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Marziye
Possible spelling mistake found.
sarbandi
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IELTS letter write a letter to a hospital for unpAID JOB

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
169 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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