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Write a letter to a friend about an item you borrowed last week, that accidentally got damaged. In your letter.. describe the item, what was the damage, what do you intend to do to rectify the problem?

Write a letter to a friend about an item you borrowed last week, that accidentally got damaged. In your letter. . describe the item, what was the damage, what do you intend to do to rectify the problem? NrjDq
Dear Samina, Hope you are doing fine. I did not see you in college since few days so thought of writing to check that everything is fine. Moreover, I know you might be eagerly waiting for your necklace I borrowed from you last week for my college annual gathering competition. It is the necklace with brown and green beads beaded on a beautifully designed red color string. I really like it so much and wore it for the competition as well could not stop admiring it in the mirror. Also, all my friends liked it so much and were curious to know more about it. However, I would like to let you know that unfortunately I broke it and feel very sorry about it. Actually, after the event when I was changing my costume accidentally the necklace came off and fell on the floor. This led to breaking of few beads into half. I managed to pickup carefully all the broken pieces. I am really sorry about the damage. I will try to stick the pieces using a specific glue meant for that kind of beads. If in case I am unable to glue them. I will find some alternative solution to fix them and make your necklace as it was. Maybe, I will take it to the artificial or imitation jewelry shop around my area and ask them to fix it for me. Let us see how they can help me. I will definitely give you this necklace back in one piece. Thank you dear for lending it to me. Wish to see you soon on campus. Love you, Nilima
Dear
Possible spelling mistake found.
Samina
,

Hope you are doing fine. I did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
you in college since few days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of writing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
that everything is fine.

Moreover
, I know you might be
eagerly
waiting for your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
necklace
I borrowed from you last week for my college annual gathering competition. It is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
necklace
with brown and green beads beaded on a
beautifully
designed red color string. I
really
like it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much and wore it for the competition
as well
could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
admiring it in the mirror.
Also
, all my friends liked it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much and were curious to know more about it.

However
, I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
you know that unfortunately I broke it and feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
sorry about it. Actually, after the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
when I was changing my costume
accidentally
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
necklace
came off and fell on the floor. This led to breaking of few beads into half. I managed to pickup
carefully
all the broken pieces.

I am
really
sorry about the damage.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
will try to stick the pieces using a specific glue meant for that kind of beads.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
in case I am unable to glue them. I will find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
alternative solution to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
necklace
as it was. Maybe, I will take it to the artificial or imitation jewelry shop around my area and ask them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
it for me.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me.

I will definitely give you this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
necklace
back in one piece. Thank you dear for lending it to me.

Wish to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
on campus.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Love
you,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Nilima
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IELTS letter Write a letter to a friend about an item you borrowed last week, that accidentally got damaged. In your letter. . describe the item, what was the damage, what do you intend to do to rectify the problem?

Letter
  American English
9 paragraphs
270 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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