Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Write a Letter of complaint about product and treatment when you buy a new phone

Write a Letter of complaint about product and treatment when you buy a new phone o5pEg
Dear Sir/Madam, I wish to express my dissatisfaction with the product and treatment I received from mobile world on western street. Firstly, On Sunday of June 15th, I bought a smartphone in your shop. I received a recommendation from a shop assistant that the phone is very morden. The whole functions are the best phone brand in the market; therefore, this phone was purchased by me. However, after a few days the phone had been some problems arose. It was not only on the inside but also on the outside. The first was battery dies in less than an hour, the activity time was not enough to use. The second was charger's wire not in good shape. Finally, hangs frequently is unacceptable it was too bad rather than my expectation. Immediately, the phone was back away the shop. I spoken to the shop assistant but the phone has still not been repaired. I went back to the shop twice times. I am extremely upset. As a dedicated customer, I must insist on a full refund or an immediate replacement as well as a written apology from shop manager, or else I shall be forced to take further action. I expect to hear from you as soon as possible. Yours faithfully, DongPhung Thi Dong.
Dear Sir/Madam,

I wish to express my dissatisfaction with the product and treatment I received from mobile world on western street.

Firstly
, On Sunday of June 15th, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a smartphone in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
. I received a recommendation from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
assistant that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake found.
morden
. The whole functions are the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
brand in the market;
therefore
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
by me.
However
, after a few days the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
had been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems arose. It was not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on the inside
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
on the outside. The
first
was battery
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dies
in less than an hour, the activity time was not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. The second was charger's wire not in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
shape.
Finally
, hangs
frequently
is unacceptable it was too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
rather
than my expectation.

Immediately, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
was back away the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
. I
Possible grammatical error. You used a past participle without using any required verb ('be' or 'have'). Did you mean "spoke"?
spoken
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
assistant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
has
still
not
been repaired
. I went back to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
twice times.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am
extremely
upset. As a dedicated customer, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
insist on a full refund or an immediate replacement
as well
as a written apology from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
manager, or else I shall
be forced
to take
further
action. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
to hear from you as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.

Yours
faithfully
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
DongPhung
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thi
Dong.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS letter Write a Letter of complaint about product and treatment when you buy a new phone

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
213 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts