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Why should we restrict the extent of university education?

Why should we restrict the extent of university education? OEMdy
Higher education should be limited to the best academic performance instead of being acceptable to a huge proportion of young people remains controversial. Opponents claim that more and more young people have a demand to pursue university because of the development of society. From my perspective, extending a wide variety of universities leads to negative consequences for adolescents, their families as well as the government. To embark on it, there are multifarious reasons why I believe that universities have disappeared from their original purposes. First and foremost, this trend has done harm to students and their families. A lot of individuals personally operated their own private colleges or universities to make a profit, paying a high fee annually but they received undesirable educational quality and facilities. In addition, many high school students choose colleges because of parents’ and teachers’ expectations as well as peer pressure. They have no chance to perform themselves in their loved careers, true dreams. According to Mr. Tran Van Top- vice president of Hanoi University of Science and Technology suppose that more than 700-800 students have to stop their learning annually because they have no ability to meet the academic requirement. Secondly, unemployment also is a difficult problem when more and more bachelors are unable to find a suitable job because there are so many interviewees candidates for the same position, which causes extreme competition. In Vietnam, ones working in non-professional fields account for more than half of all graduates. Experts point out that 31, 2% of students have no ability to take care of themselves and their families with the huge living cost in developed cities such as Ha Noi, Ho Chi Minh city… Opponents might suppose that everyone needs to acquire knowledge in university that help them in the future. However, instead of wasting time in the lecture hall for four years, taking vocational courses bring them practical experience and soft skill, which is essential in the modern world. In conclusion, the university should be minimized for the good academic learners who will become high-quality human resources for the country in the future
Higher education should
be limited
to the best academic performance
instead
of being acceptable to a huge proportion of young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
remains controversial. Opponents claim that more and more young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have a demand to pursue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the development of society. From my perspective, extending a wide variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences for adolescents, their families
as well
as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

To embark on it, there are multifarious reasons why I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
have disappeared from their original purposes.
First
and foremost, this trend has done harm to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and their families.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
individuals
personally
operated their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
private colleges or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a profit, paying a high fee
annually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they received undesirable educational quality and facilities.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
high school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
choose colleges
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of parents’ and teachers’ expectations
as well
as peer pressure. They have no chance to perform themselves in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
careers, true dreams. According to Mr. Tran Van Top- vice president of Hanoi
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
of Science and Technology suppose that more than 700-800
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
their learning
annually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have no ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the academic requirement.

Secondly
, unemployment
also
is a difficult problem when more and more bachelors are unable to find a suitable job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
interviewees candidates for the same position, which causes extreme competition. In Vietnam,
Did you mean "one's"?
ones
working in non-professional fields account for more than half of all graduates. Experts point out that 31, 2% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have no ability to take care of themselves and their families with the huge living cost in developed cities such as Ha
Possible spelling mistake found.
Noi
,
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Ho Chi Minh city
…

Opponents might suppose that everyone needs to acquire knowledge in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in the future.
However
,
instead
of wasting time in the lecture hall for four years, taking vocational courses bring them practical experience and soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, which is essential in the modern world.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
should
be minimized
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
academic learners who will become high-quality human resources for the country in the future
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IELTS letter Why should we restrict the extent of university education?

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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