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visit places in my old city

visit places in my old city kLK5e
Hi Sandy, I am really pleased you are coming to visit my city, Shiraz. The first place you should visit is Takht Jamshid. It is located on the road between Shiraz and Marvdasht. You should visit it because it is one of the most ancient historical sights in the world. You can go there by taxi which gives services to tourists. You can ask your hotel receptionist to call a taxi for you. The second place you should visit is Hafez and Saadi tomb, which are located in different places in Shiraz, but they are not very far from each other. The third place you should visit is the Vakil complex. It has a bazaar, a bath, and a mosque. You should visit all of them because they are very magnificent and historical and they were built in Karimkhan Zand's time. I wish you have a great time in Shiraz. Best wishes, Saba
Hi Sandy,

I am
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
pleased
you are coming to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
my city, Shiraz. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
you should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Takht
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jamshid
. It
is located
on the road between Shiraz and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Marvdasht
. You should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is one of the most ancient historical sights in the world. You can go there by taxi which gives services to tourists.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
You
can ask your hotel receptionist to call a taxi for you. The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
you should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hafez
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Saadi
tomb, which
are located
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
in Shiraz,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
far from each other. The third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
you should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
is the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vakil
complex. It has a bazaar, a bath, and a mosque. You should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
all of them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
magnificent and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
historical and
they
were built
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Karimkhan
Possible spelling mistake found.
Zand
's time. I wish you have a great time in Shiraz.

Best wishes,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Saba
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IELTS letter visit places in my old city

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
152 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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