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Topic: write a letter to your friend to suggest a job that you found for him. What is the job? Why the job is gonna be good for him? How to apply for the job?

Topic: write a letter to your friend to suggest a job that you found for him. What is the job? Why the job is gonna be good for him? How to apply for the job? bVoB
Dear Goku, I am writing a letter to you about suggesting a job for you. Recently, I have read a newspaper and also found a job post regarding Marketing officer position which may be suitable for you, based on your qualification and past experiences. Firstly, the job title is marketing office which is mainly responsible for sales, promotion, customer service and designing advertistments according to the job post details on newspaper. Apart from that, the job duties are mentioned handling some administrative tasks and documents. And also other duties should be assigned by your managers and supervisors. The company name is Tai man marketing company limited where is located in Central and therefore it is convenient for you to take train from your place to there around 20 minutes. On the other hand, you will have a good opportunity to promote to senior and assistant manager in this company if you are hired successfully and work hard for them. The salary and other benefits are negotiable. The working days and hours are from Monday to Friday and 9am to 6pm. It is also a full time permanent job in a stable working environment. Although this job may sometimes need to work overtime under pressure, I heard that there are a good human relationship without political issues. If you are interested in this job, you can send your CV to this email: atomicphsics@HR. com. hk for your job application. Finally, I hope you will be successful to join this company and also have a good career path in the future. I am looking forward to hearing your good news soon. Yours sincerely, Newton
Dear
Possible spelling mistake found.
Goku
,

I am writing a letter to you about suggesting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for you. Recently, I have read a newspaper and
also
found a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
post regarding Marketing officer position which may be suitable for you, based on your qualification and
Consider using "experiences".
past experiences
.

Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
title is marketing office which is
mainly
responsible for sales, promotion, customer service and designing
Possible spelling mistake found.
advertistments
according to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
post
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
on newspaper. Apart from that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
duties
are mentioned
handling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
administrative tasks and documents. And
also
other duties should
be assigned
by your managers and supervisors. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
name is Tai
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
marketing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
limited where
is located
in Central and
therefore
it is convenient for you to take train from your place to there around 20 minutes.

On the other hand
, you will have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
opportunity to promote to senior and assistant manager in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
if you
are hired
successfully
and work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for them. The salary and other benefits are negotiable. The working days and hours are from Monday to Friday and 9am to 6pm. It is
also
a full time permanent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in a stable working environment. Although this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
need to work overtime under pressure, I heard that there are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
human relationship without political issues. If you
are interested
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
your CV to this email:
Possible spelling mistake found.
atomicphsics@HR
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
com
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
hk
for your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
application.

Finally
, I hope you will be successful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
and
also
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
career path in the future. I am looking forward to hearing your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
news
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
sincerely
,

Newton
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IELTS letter Topic: write a letter to your friend to suggest a job that you found for him. What is the job? Why the job is gonna be good for him? How to apply for the job?

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
271 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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