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This is Yirgalem Gidey Gebru, an Ethiopian citizen with a BSc in Information Technology (Engineering). I am writing this letter for the Masters' Scholarship position in Cyber Security at Japan University.

This is Yirgalem Gidey Gebru, an Ethiopian citizen with a BSc in Information Technology (Engineering). I am writing this letter for the Masters' Scholarship position in Cyber Security at Japan University. E37rx
My Statement Dear Sir/Madam, This is Yirgalem Gidey Gebru, an Ethiopian citizen with a BSc in Information Technology (Engineering). I am writing this letter for the Masters' Scholarship position in Cyber Security at Japan University. As a highly motivated undergraduate, I have gained a high distinctive result, hands-on knowledge in different research areas and skills. My undergraduate study was a breakthrough academic achievement of my early childhood dream and professional career where I gained a remarkable theoretical knowledge accompanied with a lot of experiments, course projects, mini and final projects which build my academic and research experience. I have participated and contributed to the university community as a member of a Mekelle University-Mekelle Institute of Technology (MU-MIT) peace forum, charity club, in managing and performing academic, social and cultural events. Until recently I have been working in the Industry as an Exploit Tool Researcher in a security, research and IT projects based governmental organization called the Information Network Security Agency (INSA), Ethiopia that enabled me to obtain an extraordinary skill in particular with malicious files analysis, design, configuration, implementation, and overall Malware Development software applications from small to large projects that involved private and governmental organizations. Also I have worked in private organization called Trans Ethiopia as a network administrator for more than two and a half months which allowed me to perform in a new working environment, culture, language, and challenges. Working in these giant companies provided me a wonderful experience in multi-disciplinary tasks, multiple vendor products, systems, and technologies. Thus, I have an impressive experience in research, governmental and non-governmental organizations for almost four years in the Malware Cyber Security and related fields. My passion to know how things work together with the academic achievements and industry experience I gained made me to be highly passionate about pursuing my master's program in Cyber Security Research specifically in Malware Development. It is such a promising and an ideal research area for ambitious Information Technology scientists keep themselves up to date with the latest technologies and to make innovations. This all together made me decide to work on my master’s research in this hot area of Cyber Security with the title Mal Developer. To achieve my goal, I preferred Milan University primarily as it dedicates itself as a source of new scientific innovations which are globally significant with local relevance. Secondly, it provides all-inclusive academic grounding to scientists and engineers, enabling them to involve in joint multidisciplinary understanding and further development of complex and dynamic systems to achieve innovation and economic growth, especially in the emerging and significant area of Cyber to realize the long-lasting contribution to the society. Finally, yet importantly, Milan University provides opportunities for students from many nations around the world, with diverse cultures and ideas that will provide me a wonderful experience. Italy has been always my choice due to many reasons, among which some of them include: high quality and world-class educational institutions with hundreds of years of international reputation, multicultural society with all religions and faiths open to new traditions and cultures which is a great opportunity for me as an international student. Italy has a lot of history to explore, rich in culture, with the English language spoken all over the world. Besides, I have attended all my undergraduate studies in English which will be comfortable to do my master’s research in Italy. The courses I took during my undergraduate program in Information Technology (Engineering) and, the researches I have conducted during my academic and as an employee together with the industry experience I gained in the areas of Exploit Tool Research, Vulnerability Research in Information Network and Security Agency, made a flawless match with the Masters research area of my interest. Thankfully, Italy is going to fully fund this prestigious master’s research opportunity. I wish to delve deeper into the subjects to be able to carry out independent research and analysis or serve in a research institution. My long-term goal is to become an expert in Malware Development and to aid the development of this area internationally and my home country where it is a demanding area to work on. I am aware that my knowledge in this area is insufficient, but I am sure that I am committed and motivated enough to fill in the gap. I believe that the academic and research background together with the huge industry experience has a solid foundation. Through the world-class research and innovation of Milan University, I am confident that I will develop expertise and boost the quality of my research potential.
My Statement

Dear Sir/Madam,

This is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Yirgalem
Possible spelling mistake found.
Gidey
Possible spelling mistake found.
Gebru
, an Ethiopian citizen with a
Consider using a more common abbreviation of this university degree.
BSc
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
(Engineering). I am writing this letter for the Masters' Scholarship position in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cyber
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Security
at Japan University.

As a
highly
motivated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
undergraduate
, I have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gained
a high distinctive result, hands-on knowledge in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
undergraduate
study was a breakthrough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
achievement of my early childhood dream and professional career where I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gained
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "remarkable theoretical knowledge".
a remarkable theoretical knowledge
The usual collocation for "accompany" is "by," not "with." It is better to say this: "accompanied by".
accompanied with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
experiments, course
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
, mini and final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
which build my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. I have participated and contributed to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
community as a member of a
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mekelle
Possible spelling mistake found.
University-Mekelle
Institute of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
(MU-MIT) peace forum, charity club, in managing and performing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
, social and cultural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.

Until recently I have been working in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Industry
as an Exploit Tool Researcher in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
and IT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
based governmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
called the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Information
Network
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Security
Agency (INSA), Ethiopia that enabled me to obtain an extraordinary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
in particular
with malicious files analysis, design, configuration, implementation, and
overall
Malware
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Development
software applications from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
to large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
that involved private and governmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
I have worked in private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
called Trans Ethiopia as a network administrator for more than two and a half months which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
me to perform in a new working environment,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, language, and challenges. Working in these giant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
provided me a wonderful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
in multi-disciplinary tasks, multiple vendor products, systems, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
.
Thus
, I have an impressive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
, governmental and non-governmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
for almost four years in the Malware
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cyber
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Security
and related fields.

My passion to know how things work together with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
achievements and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gained
made me to be
highly
passionate about pursuing my master's program in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cyber
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Research
specifically
in Malware
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Development
. It is such a promising and an ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
for ambitious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
scientists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves up to date with the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
innovations
. This all together made me decide to work on my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
master’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
in this hot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cyber
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Security
with the title
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mal
Developer. To achieve my goal, I preferred Milan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
primarily
as it dedicates itself as a source of new scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
innovations
which are globally significant with local relevance.

Secondly
, it provides all-inclusive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
grounding to scientists and engineers, enabling them to involve in joint multidisciplinary understanding and
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of complex and dynamic systems to achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
innovation
and economic growth,
especially
in the emerging and significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cyber
to realize the long-lasting contribution to the society.

Finally
,
yet
importantly
, Milan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
provides opportunities for students from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations around the world, with diverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
that will provide me a wonderful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. Italy has been always my choice due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons, among which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them include: high quality and world-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
educational institutions with hundreds of years of international reputation, multicultural society with all religions and faiths open to new traditions and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
which is a great opportunity for me as an international student. Italy has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
history to explore, rich in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, with the English language spoken all over the world.
Besides
, I have attended all my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
undergraduate
studies in English which will be comfortable to do my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
master’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
in Italy.

The courses I took during my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
undergraduate
program in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
(Engineering) and, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researches
I have conducted during my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
and as an employee together with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gained
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
of Exploit Tool
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Research
, Vulnerability
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Research
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Information
Network and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Security
Agency, made a flawless match with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Masters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
of my interest.

Thankfully
, Italy is going to
fully
fund this prestigious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
master’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
opportunity. I wish to delve deeper into the subjects to be able to carry out independent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
and analysis or serve in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
institution. My long-term goal is to become an expert in Malware
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Development
and to aid the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
internationally
and my home country where it is a demanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
to work on. I am aware that my knowledge in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
is insufficient,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I am sure that I
am committed
and motivated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to fill in the gap. I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
background together with the huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
has a solid foundation. Through the world-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
innovation
of Milan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
, I am confident that I will develop expertise and boost the quality of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
potential.
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IELTS letter This is Yirgalem Gidey Gebru, an Ethiopian citizen with a BSc in Information Technology (Engineering). I am writing this letter for the Masters' Scholarship position in Cyber Security at Japan University.

Letter
  American English
9 paragraphs
758 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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