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someone to help her in home for for a few hours

someone to help her in home for for a few hours 2R5j6
Dear Mrs. Barrett, I’m just writing to let you know that, my interest regarding advertisement published by you on Daily News 20 the October. I’m Lara and I also live in Alberta. So, I can come to work at the earliest and help you until 5 p. m. I can make many kinds of delicious food and beverages. And I’ve creative ideas for housekeeping and decorating. I learned them from Professional Housekeepers Association. I followed their housekeeping course for 6 months last year. I like to do this kind of work because I need to be a professional housekeeper. And these kinds of work always refresh my mind. In addition, I need to tell you that, I’m unable to work every Thursday due to my studies and the last two Sundays in every month due to personal reasons. However, I can come to your help on all the other days. Please let me know if you are willing to take my service. Looking forward to hearing from you soon. All the best, Lara.
Dear Mrs. Barrett,

I’m
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
writing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
you know that, my interest regarding advertisement published by you on Daily News 20 the October.

I’m Lara and I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in Alberta.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at the earliest and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you until 5 p. m. I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kinds of delicious food and beverages. And I’ve creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
for housekeeping and decorating. I learned them from Professional Housekeepers Association. I followed their housekeeping course for 6 months last year.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
like to do this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I need to be a professional housekeeper. And these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
always refresh my mind.
In addition
, I need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you that, I’m unable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
every Thursday due to my studies and the last two Sundays in every month due to personal reasons.
However
, I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
on all the other days.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me know if you are willing to take my service. Looking forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

All the best,

Lara.
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IELTS letter someone to help her in home for for a few hours

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
173 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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