Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this.

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this.

essaydiscussionParental RoleEducational System
Writing Structure
Parents throughout the world spend time on improving children's developmental stage to be the active contributors to society; however, recent research suggests that due to the plethora amount of drawbacks it might lead to, schools would be far more beneficial. I will illustrate both claims by giving reasons, and my point of view will be covered in this essay. A fundamental reason for this statement is that it is not the right technique for parents to deal with the escalation, and schools are the best option in this case since educational terms have a significant amount of official data stored in programs and books that boosts up the perfomance of the citizens. For instance, according to a number of research, infants who obtain social literacy in schools are considered to have much more connection to society rather than parents' advances. In contrast, parents who tend to assign social skills have control over their children by being aware of what the child is capable of. They entrust to the community that the individuals who have gained intelligence over them are going to have a sentimental relationships with their parents by focusing on the child's evolving skills such as communication, the relation between society, and the way of developing thoughts. Despite these two claims I rather prefer every possible approach beyond the schoolar and parental concepts. It certainly is the perfect way of being a member of society since I believe that the person should consider every possible manner of acquiring knowledge and encourage the most effective one. In fact, it is proven that adaptation has a far more effective advantage impact than a one-sided approach. In conclusion, while being a supporter of this non-reading approach, I am not strongly opposed to it and I personally recommend allocating time in all the affordable ways in order to have a key to success.
Introduction
Background Information

Thesis Statement

Body Paragraph 1
Topic Sentence

Supporting Sentence

Body Paragraph 2
Topic Sentence

Supporting Sentence

Conclusion
Restatement of Thesis

Overall Band Score: 6.5
Task Achievement
6.5
The essay addresses the task by discussing both views and providing a personal opinion. However, the arguments could be more developed and supported with examples.
Lexical Resource
6
The vocabulary used is adequate but lacks variety and precision. There are instances of awkward phrasing and some spelling errors.
Coherence & Cohesion
6.5
The essay presents a clear argument but lacks smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Some sentences are convoluted, which affects the overall flow.
Grammatical Range
6
The essay demonstrates a basic command of grammar but contains several errors in sentence structure and punctuation. Some sentences are overly complex.

Additional Details
Full Report
Show CEFR Map
Writing Ideas
Vocabulary
Writing Structure
Users Examples
Users Comments
Check Your Writing
Other Writings