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The Office You Work In Does Not Have A Cafeteria For Staff

The Office You Work In Does Not Have A Cafeteria For Staff VBe9m

Dear Sir, My name is Jyoti Gupta and I am working as a supervisor in the sales department. I am writing to bring to your notice the requirement of a cafeteria within our office building. It’s been two years since I joined this organization and I really admire the work culture here. However, I have always felt that it would be better if we had a place where employees can have tea or meals. After consulting the views of my colleagues and some employees from other departments, I came to know that everyone in the office would like to have this facility in our work area. Besides, going out like this merely to get number of snacks or get a cup of coffee is rather inconvenient for us, especially, when the weather condition is not favourable. Furthermore, it will be very beneficial for the individuals who are commuting from far off places. They would be refreshed and can concentrate more on work after having a relaxing cup of tea. The cafeteria can be built in the backyard of our premises which is a wasteland now.

Dear Sir,

My name is Possible spelling mistake found.KyotoJodiJoniPyotrYogiDhoti
Jyoti
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).Gupta, and
Gupta and
 I am working as a supervisor in the sales department. I am writing to bring to your notice the requirement of a cafeteria within our office building.

It’s been two years since I This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :consolidatedfused
joined
 this organization and I really
 admire the work culture here. However
, I have always felt that it would be better if we had a place where employees can have tea or meals. After consulting the views of my colleagues and This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 employees from other departments, I came to know that everyone in the office would like to have this facility in our work area. Besides
, going out like this merely
 to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
get
 number of snacks or This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
get
 a cup of coffee is rather
 inconvenient for us, especially
, when the weather condition is not Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.favorable
favourable
.

Furthermore
, it will be This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:extremelyimmenselysupremelysuperb
very
 beneficial for the individuals who are commuting from far off places. They would be refreshed
 and can concentrate more on work after having a relaxing cup of tea. The cafeteria can be built
 in the backyard of our premises which is a wasteland This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :nowadays
now
. 

IELTS letter The Office You Work In Does Not Have A Cafeteria For Staff

Letter

American English

4 paragraphs

185 words

6.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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One main idea per paragraph
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Include an introduction and conclusion
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Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.0

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.5

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 5.0

Answer all parts of the question
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Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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