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The following report appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces A study reports that in nearby East

The following report appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces A study reports that in nearby East BJLq9
The statements is a report that appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council. They claim that an innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in schools and workplaces. There are so many reasons in the following statement. First of all, the statement claims that people living in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high and it means they eat more fish. Although fish have very high consumption, it cannot prove they are all eaten by people from East Meira. It might be that these people from East Maira always made them and sold them to other places, even if they like to give fish as a gift. We need more evidence to prove this opinion. It concluded that people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. It cannot prove that people from East Meira meet less doctors because they always eat fish. We need some evidence to prove that people from East Meria are less likely to meet doctors because they are less likely to have less sickness. They might eat some medicine at home or they are very poor even if they don't have any money to meet a doctor. It does not mean they have a healthy body. We also need more evidence to prove that these people only eat fish. They may also eat vegetables and always exercise so their body is very healthy. Secondly, the statement claims that since colds represent the post frequently given reason for absences from school and work. We need more evidences to ensure these reasons are true. Usually due to some reasons people will write a fake reason. Some people are true and others are false. So we must prove it is true. Finally, this statement claims that they recommend the daily use of a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism. We need to know this fish oil can prevent colds and lower absenteeism. Maybe due to the diel there is a considerable difference and it does not work.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
statements
You should probably use: "are".
is
a report that appeared in the newsletter of the West
Possible spelling mistake found.
Meria
Public Health Council. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
claim
that an innovative treatment has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to our attention that promises to
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
absenteeism in schools and workplaces. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
in the following statement.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
statement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
claims
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in nearby East
Possible spelling mistake found.
Meria
, where fish consumption is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high and it means they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
more fish. Although fish have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high consumption, it cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prove
they are all eaten by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from East
Possible spelling mistake found.
Meira
. It might be that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from East
Possible spelling mistake found.
Maira
always made them and sold them to other places, even if they like to give fish as a gift. We
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prove
this opinion.
It concluded
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
once or twice per year for the treatment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
colds
. It cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prove
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from East
Possible spelling mistake found.
Meira
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun doctors is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
fish. We
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prove
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from East
Possible spelling mistake found.
Meria
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
likely to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
sickness. They might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
medicine at
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
home or
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
poor even if they don't have any money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctor
. It does not mean they have a healthy body. We
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prove
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
fish. They may
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
vegetables and always exercise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
their body is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
healthy.

Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
statement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
claims
that since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
colds
represent the post
frequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for absences from school and work. We
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidences
to ensure these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
are true.
Usually
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will write a fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are true
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
are false.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prove
it is true.

Finally
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
statement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
claims
that they recommend the daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
colds
and lower absenteeism. We
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to know this fish oil can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
colds
and lower absenteeism. Maybe due to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
diel
there is a considerable difference and it does not work.
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IELTS letter The following report appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces A study reports that in nearby East

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
357 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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