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The following appeared in a letter from a firm providing investment advice to a client Homes in the northeastern United States where winters are typically cold have traditionally used oil as their major fuel for heating Last year that region experienced t

The following appeared in a letter from a firm providing investment advice to a client Homes in the northeastern United States where winters are typically cold have traditionally used oil as their major fuel for heating Last year that region experienced t BJLo9
In the passage, the author recommends investing in Consolidated Industries, because of the prediction of increasing demand for heating oil. To support his/her claim, the author cites the extremely cold weather in recent years together with local weather forecasts. Furthermore, he/she also uses a series of evidence to demonstrate a drastic increase of home building in this area. Quite convincing though such recommendation appears at first glance, a closer scrutiny reveals that the conclusion lacks crucial supports and therefore we should consider more evidence to help evaluate such recommendation. To start off, we need more evidence to verify if the harsh climate condition will continue as the author's prediction. While the author shows local weather forecasters' prediction for the continual cold winter climate, no evidence serves to rule out the probability that such prophecy mayn't occur, considering unpredicability of the Earth's climatic system. Thus, extra evidence gains great significance to determine whether this area will be continually dominated by such extreme weather during the winter. If new evidence shows that such harsh weather is just a sort of temporal phenomenon, it is safe to claim that fuel demand for heating is unlikely to increase and his/her reasoning will be weakened. On the contrary, if new information discloses the opposite situation, his/her viewpoint will be lent more support to. Furthermore, we also require additional evidence to ascertain whether new building houses will bring about increase of oil heating demand. First of all, while local residents may stay in their new house and go through the whole winter, we still need to check with new evidence about whether they would migrate to other places to escape from the inclement weather. If a great number of people would like to move to warmer places instead of keeping at their new house, the soaring demand of oil fuel is in great doubt and his/her reasoning will be rendered much less advisable. Second, we need to decide whether people would still stick to traditional oil heating and blindly ignore other new and more economic ways of house heating. If they will resort to solar heating which effectively avoid oil consumption, we are unconvinced that oil heating demand will increase accompanying with the construction of new houses. Last but not least, despite the presence of all previous evidence, a more accurate evaluation of the author's recommendation requires further information. Specific evidence is required to evaluate whether Consodilated Industries could fully seize on such increasing requirements of oil fuel and make great profit out of it; that is to say, whether such company is running on a good track for its business so that investors could gain their expected financial benefits in the future. If the answer is positive, his/her recommendation will be strengthened. Otherwise, if the management team of this company is highly incompetent and even have severe corruption issues, or their employees don't have sufficient passion to make contribution to its development, we are reluctant to believe that investors can grasp with their expected profits. In summary, the evidence cited by the author in the argument could not provide sufficiently conclusive information to make his/her argument compelling. As a result, we need more evidence to better evaluate such argument.
In the passage, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
recommends investing in Consolidated Industries,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the prediction of increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
. To support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
his/her
claim, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
cites the
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weather
in recent years together with local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weather
forecasts.
Furthermore
, he/she
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
a series of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
to demonstrate a drastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
of home building in this area. Quite convincing though such recommendation appears at
first
glance, a closer scrutiny reveals that the conclusion lacks crucial supports and
therefore
we should consider more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
evaluate such recommendation.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
off, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
to verify if the harsh climate condition will continue as the author's prediction. While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weather
forecasters' prediction for the continual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
winter climate, no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
serves to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
out the probability that such prophecy mayn't occur, considering
Possible spelling mistake found.
unpredicability
of the Earth's climatic system.
Thus
, extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
gains
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
significance to determine whether this area will be
continually
dominated by such extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weather
during the winter. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that such harsh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weather
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a sort of temporal phenomenon, it is safe to claim that fuel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
is unlikely to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
his/her
reasoning will
be weakened
.
On the contrary
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
information discloses the opposite situation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
his/her
viewpoint will
be lent
more support to.

Furthermore
, we
also
require additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
to ascertain whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
will bring about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, while local residents may stay in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
and go through the whole winter, we
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
about whether they would migrate to other places to escape from the inclement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weather
. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to warmer places
instead
of keeping at their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
, the soaring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
fuel is in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
doubt and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
his/her
reasoning will
be rendered
much less advisable. Second, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to decide whether
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would
still
stick to traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
and
blindly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
and more economic ways of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
. If they
Consider removing 'will'. (Usually, 'will' does not occur in a conditional clause, unless in the sense 'want to' or 'be willing to'.)
will resort
to solar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
which
effectively
avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
consumption, we
are unconvinced
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
The usual collocation for "accompany" is "by," not "with." It is better to say this: "accompanying by".
accompanying with
the construction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, despite the presence of all previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
, a more accurate evaluation of the author's recommendation requires
further
information. Specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
is required
to evaluate whether
Possible spelling mistake found.
Consodilated
Industries could
fully
seize on such increasing requirements of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
fuel and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
profit out of it;
that is
to say, whether such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
is running on a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
for its business
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that investors could gain their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
financial benefits in the future. If the answer is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
his/her
recommendation will
be strengthened
.
Otherwise
, if the management team of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
is
highly
incompetent and even have severe corruption issues, or their employees don't have sufficient passion to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
contribution to its development, we are reluctant to believe that investors can grasp with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
profits.

In summary, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
cited by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
in the argument could not provide
sufficiently
conclusive information to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
his/her
argument compelling.
As a result
, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
to better evaluate such argument.
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IELTS letter The following appeared in a letter from a firm providing investment advice to a client Homes in the northeastern United States where winters are typically cold have traditionally used oil as their major fuel for heating Last year that region experienced t

Letter
  American English
5 paragraphs
534 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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