Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The following is a letter from the parent of a private school student to the principal of that school:Last year, Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to a private vendor, Swift Nutrition. This company serves low-fat, low-calorie meal

The following is a letter from the parent of a private school student to the principal of that school: Last year, Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to a private vendor, Swift Nutrition. This company serves low-fat, low-calorie meal n6xon
Food plays a very important part in overall development during a child's growth as well as adults. The argument states that, since the inception of Swift Nutrition students have been reluctant to eat food at the cafeteria which will eventually gender negative effects to the health of Kensington students. Before Swift Nutrition was awarded the contract, parents did not face any complaints from the students about the cafeteria. Most of the students did not carry lunch boxes. But since a year, after Swift Nutrition took over, there has been a rise in the demand of lunch boxes. On talking with other parents, the mentioned reasons were concluded. Also it has come to attention, most of the students have lost weight in this one year which was not previously observed. Is this weight loss a cause due to change in cafeteria vendor? If, the answer is yes, then it is definitely reasonable to demand a change in vendor, in absence of which, the health of the students will suffer. What is the geographical location of the Kensington Academy? What is the diet pattern of its habitat? The answers to this question can help better evaluate the argument. If it so happens that Kensington Academy is located at a place where it mostly snows throughout the year and where the diet followed happens to be of high fat, high calorie and high protein, then the basis of this argument seems reasonable. A high fat, high calorie diet of the habitats is essential to overcome and survive the cold weather conditions. Also a drastic change in the staple diet will naturally induce feelings of discontent in the new foodstuffs. Ultimately, he children will refrain from eating the new diet. Loss in food consumption is definitely hurt the child's health and thus a demand for change in vendor should be accepted.
Food plays a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part in
overall
development during a child's growth
as well
as adults. The argument states that, since the inception of Swift Nutrition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have been reluctant to eat food at the cafeteria which will
eventually
gender
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects to the health of Kensington students.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
Swift Nutrition
was awarded
the contract, parents did not face any complaints from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
about the cafeteria. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
did not carry lunch boxes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
since a year, after Swift Nutrition took over, there has been a rise in the demand of lunch boxes. On talking with other parents, the mentioned reasons
were concluded
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to attention, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have lost weight in this one year which was not previously observed. Is this weight loss a cause due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in cafeteria vendor? If, the answer is yes, then it is definitely reasonable to demand a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in vendor, in absence of which, the health of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will suffer.

What is the geographical location of the Kensington Academy? What is the diet pattern of its habitat? The answers to this question can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
better evaluate the argument. If it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
happens that Kensington Academy
is located
at a place where it
mostly
snows throughout the year and where the diet followed happens to be of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
calorie and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
protein, then the basis of this argument seems reasonable. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
calorie diet of the habitats is essential to overcome and survive the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
weather conditions.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
a drastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in the staple diet will
naturally
induce feelings of discontent in the new foodstuffs.
Ultimately
,
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'he'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
he children
will refrain from eating the new diet. Loss in food consumption is definitely hurt the child's health and
thus
a demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in vendor should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS letter The following is a letter from the parent of a private school student to the principal of that school: Last year, Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to a private vendor, Swift Nutrition. This company serves low-fat, low-calorie meal

Letter
  American English
3 paragraphs
307 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • The following is a letter from the parent of a private school student to the principal of that school:Last year, Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to a private vendor, Swift Nutrition. This company serves low-fat, low-calorie meal