Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

the following appeared in a letter to the editor of a Batavia newspaper."The department of agriculture in Batavia reports that the number of dairy farms throughout the country is now 25 percent greater than it was 10 years ago. During this same time perio

the following appeared in a letter to the editor of a Batavia newspaper. " The department of agriculture in Batavia reports that the number of dairy farms throughout the country is now 25 percent greater than it was 10 years ago. During this same time perio ljqwo
The author of the letter have raised a pertinent question regarding retail price of milk and the need for the government to regulate the milk prices. The author has presented several data points and arguments to strengthen the case. However, there seems to have some inherent weakness in the arguments of the author. I will discuss some questions which needs to answered before reaching any conclusion regarding any government action over the matter. As per arguments of the author, the dairy farms in the country had steadily grown in past 10 years and are 25% more than number of dairy farms country had 10 years ago. Although, the author is presenting the national numbers. It doesn't reflect the regional distribution of dairy farms and respective growth rate. It could be possible that, dairy farms in Batavia had actually reduced in recent past due to various reasons. Hence, the local market prices of milk are high. We must examine regional milk production data and associated milk prices before reaching out to government for any corrective action demand. Author mentions a very apt data point that retail milk prices have doubled, from $1. 50 to $3. 00 over the past 10 years. From outset it looks a substantial figure, which could dwindle the household budgets. On the contrary, we should also factor in the regular annual food inflation figures. If we apply mathematical calculation we will find that amounts will double if there is inflation of 8% year on year. The inflation figure is little on the higher side. However, the Batavia region could be booming with development and hence inflation is high because residents have more disposable income. To conclude my present argument, we should check economic indicators such as inflation, growth rate and household income before conclusively comment that this is huge increase and regulation is required. My final argument is about the dairy farmer, who sets up the farm, rears cattle and engage in business of milk production and selling. The author has conveniently ignored the potential issues which could be at the level of dairy farmer. We must check about the past 10 year trend of feed and fodder price, veterinary services cost, labor cost, utilities cost and other associated costs which are essential to run a dairy business. Any adverse impact on the input cost, to maintain a workable profit, farmer could pass on the increased cost to the end customer. Hence resulting in increased prices of milk in retail market. In my view, we must look at the macro economic factors, local production conditions as well as the distribution of milk production and dairy farms at the country level as well as regional level to deep dive and find out the root cause of the problem or even there is a problem which needs addressing.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
of the letter have raised a pertinent question regarding retail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
and the need for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to regulate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
has presented several data points and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arguments
to strengthen the case.
However
, there seems to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
inherent weakness in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arguments
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
. I will discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
questions which needs to answered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching any conclusion regarding any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
action over the matter.

As per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arguments
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dairy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farms
in the country had
steadily
grown in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
10 years and are 25% more than number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dairy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farms
country had 10 years ago.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
is presenting the national numbers. It doesn't reflect the regional distribution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dairy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farms
and respective growth rate. It could be possible that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dairy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farms
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Batavia
had actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
in recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
due to various reasons.
Hence
, the local market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
are high. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
examine regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
data and associated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching out to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
for any corrective action demand.

Author mentions a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
apt data point that retail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
have doubled, from $1. 50 to $3. 00 over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
10 years. From
The comma is probably missing here: "outset, it".
outset it
looks a substantial figure, which could dwindle the household budgets.
On the contrary
, we should
also
factor in the regular annual food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inflation
figures. If we apply mathematical calculation we will find that amounts will double if there is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inflation
of 8%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inflation
figure is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
on the higher side.
However
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Batavia
region could be booming with development and
hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inflation
is high
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
residents have more disposable income.
To conclude
my present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
economic indicators such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inflation
, growth rate and household income
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
conclusively
comment that this is huge increase and regulation
is required
.

My final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
is about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dairy
farmer, who sets up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farm
, rears cattle and engage in business of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
and selling. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
has
conveniently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
the potential issues which could be at the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dairy
farmer. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
Possible agreement error. The noun 'trend' seems to be countable, so consider using: "trends".
trend
of feed and fodder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
, veterinary services
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
, labor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
, utilities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
and other associated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
which are essential to run a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dairy
business. Any adverse impact on the input
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
, to maintain a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
workable
profit, farmer could pass on the increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
customer.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
resulting in increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
in retail market.

In my view, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
look at the macro economic factors, local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
conditions
as well
as the distribution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dairy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farms
at the country level
as well
as regional level to deep dive and find out the root cause of the problem or even there is a problem which needs addressing.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS letter the following appeared in a letter to the editor of a Batavia newspaper. " The department of agriculture in Batavia reports that the number of dairy farms throughout the country is now 25 percent greater than it was 10 years ago. During this same time perio

Letter
  American English
5 paragraphs
469 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • the following appeared in a letter to the editor of a Batavia newspaper."The department of agriculture in Batavia reports that the number of dairy farms throughout the country is now 25 percent greater than it was 10 years ago. During this same time perio