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The following appeared as part of the Dean s newsletter The University of Wabash is considering a community service requirement for all undergraduate and graduate students We believe that the objective of any university is to produce well rounded and char

The following appeared as part of the Dean s newsletter The University of Wabash is considering a community service requirement for all undergraduate and graduate students We believe that the objective of any university is to produce well rounded and char JoYEw
Producing altruistic and all-round graduates is a one of the very key objectives of a university. The Dean's proactive move to make this a reality in his university is commendable. However, he utimately assumes that the community service which every student will be mandated to partake in will make everyone charitable and properly exposed and gain working experience. Unfortunately, this is based on many assumptions that must be rectified before it is passed into law. One of the major assumptions in this newsletter is that the students will automatically be converted to 'good people' after serving the community and would have given back to the society. It is true that there have been stories about people who felt the need to continue charity after having some experience in school. This is not always the case. Making the community service compulsory might cause it to lose its essence. People will begin to view it as a chore and will only want to 'get it out of the way'. Over time, they will start to search for loopholes to escape the service and simply resort to truancy. If this is how the community service is viewed, the argument will not stand. Also important is the assumption that the students will gain experience which will help them in their work in the future. The university is filled with wpople who have different dreams and aspirations and will eventually end up in jobs that are discordant. The work experience needed by a doctor is different from the one which a fashion designer will require. A doctor might benefit from community service, because he is required to show compassion and empathy, but a fashion designer only has to know how to draw amazing designs and make them come alive. Hence the community service will not be beneficial to the fashion designer. The assumption here will only serve for a certain group people like health workers, but it is almost useless to people who will end up with desk jobs or even have to work from home. Another assumption is that the local charities need hands to continue their efforts. So many people are willing to offer their time to charities without being obligated to do so. The charities may already have enough people that are volunteering their time. What if they need money instead? What is they need books for the children or medication for those in the hospital? How will these students be helpful to them? if truly, they need help, then the argument can stand. However, if this is not the case, then it may destroy the argument. It is clear that the Dean meant well by proposing this new addition to the schedule. Nevertheless, The asumptions must be confirmed before this is effected in order to ensure that the community service is beneficial to the students and the charities.
Producing altruistic and all-round graduates is a one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
key objectives of a university. The Dean's proactive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this a reality in his university is commendable.
However
, he
Possible spelling mistake found.
utimately
assumes that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
which every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
will
be mandated
to partake in will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
everyone charitable and
properly
exposed and gain working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. Unfortunately, this
is based
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assumptions
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be rectified
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it
is passed
into law.

One of the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assumptions
in this newsletter is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will
automatically
be converted
to '
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
' after serving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
and would have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
back to the society. It is true that there have been stories about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who felt the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to continue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
after having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
in school. This is not always the case. Making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
compulsory might cause it to lose its essence.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to view it as a chore and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
want to '
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it out of the way'. Over time, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to search for loopholes to escape the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
and
simply
resort to truancy. If this is how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
is viewed
, the argument will not stand.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assumption
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in their work in the future. The university
is filled
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
wpople
who have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
dreams and aspirations and will
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up in jobs that are discordant. The work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
needed by a doctor is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from the one which a fashion designer will require. A doctor might benefit from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he
is required
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
compassion and empathy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a fashion designer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
know how to draw amazing designs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
alive.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
will not be beneficial to the fashion designer. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assumption
here will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
serve for a certain group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like health workers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is almost useless to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with desk jobs or even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work from home.

Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assumption
is that the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
hands to continue their efforts.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are willing to offer their time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charities
without
being obligated
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charities
may already have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that are volunteering their time. What if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
money
instead
? What
The pronoun 'is' must be used with "are".
is
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
books for the children or medication for those in the hospital? How will these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
be helpful to them?
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
truly
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
, then the argument can stand.
However
, if this is not the case, then it may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the argument.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the Dean meant well by proposing this new addition to the schedule.
Nevertheless
, The
Possible spelling mistake found.
asumptions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be confirmed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
this
is effected
in order to ensure that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
is beneficial to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charities
.
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IELTS letter The following appeared as part of the Dean s newsletter The University of Wabash is considering a community service requirement for all undergraduate and graduate students We believe that the objective of any university is to produce well rounded and char

Letter
  American English
5 paragraphs
477 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • The following appeared as part of the Dean s newsletter The University of Wabash is considering a community service requirement for all undergraduate and graduate students We believe that the objective of any university is to produce well rounded and char