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tell about your major. what do you choose have a good job or your major you like?

tell about your major. what do you choose have a good job or your major you like? 2RDRA
Hi, my name is Chi. Now, I'm a first year student at National Economics University and my major is Bachelor of Management of Quality and Innovation in English. I had chance to know about my major when I'm a student in high school. The special thing in my major is we have the same schedule for all the student, so it has not much differently with high school. I have to learn all the subjects in the schedule but it's fine because it helps me finding the jobs I want in the future and improve my personal skills a lot. Beside it, I can spend more time for what I like, such as, Maths. I really like it, I want to know more about it in the university and it is a basic foundation to learn economics, what I'm into. So when I come home, I will search more information about it. I think choose the major I want is better than the major give me get a good job. Who knows what will happen in the future so the major I want still can give me a good job. The things I like, I will spend more times on it, so I have my own knowlanguage and someday I can become more and more better in my major, my job. Moreover, I have passionate on it so I have more motivation to work, spend time to do it. In conclusion, that is all I think about my major. And I feel happy because I can choose the major I want and really like.
Hi, my name is Chi.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, I'm a
first
year student at National Economics University and my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
is Bachelor of Management of Quality and Innovation in English.

I had chance to know about my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
when I'm a student in high school. The special thing in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
is we have the same schedule for all the student,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it has not much
differently
with high school. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
learn all the subjects in the schedule
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it's fine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
me
The verb 'fine' is used with an infinitive: "to find" or "find".
finding
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
in the future and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
my personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
a lot. Beside it, I can spend more time for what I like, such as,
Possible spelling mistake. 'Maths' is British English.
Maths
. I
really
like it, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to know more about it in the university and it is a basic foundation to learn economics, what I'm into.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
home, I will search more information about it.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
choose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
is better than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
give me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Who knows what will happen in the future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
still
can give me a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. The things I like, I will spend more times on it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I have my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowlanguage
and someday I can become more and
Use only "better" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more better
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Moreover
, I have passionate on it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I have more motivation to work, spend time to do it.

In conclusion
,
that is
all I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
. And I feel happy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I can choose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
and
really
like.
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IELTS letter tell about your major. what do you choose have a good job or your major you like?

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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