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teach their children a language for a year

teach their children a language for a year x2OWQ
Dear sir/ Madam I hope you find my letter in good health. The purpose of writing this letter is to inform you that I am interested in the job offer that you have given in the newspaper. As per your ad you are searching an Urdu language teacher for your kids. I am from Pakistan and currently living in Australia. Fortunately had a great experience of teaching native language to Pakistani school going children. Moreover, you will glad to know that I am also a certified musician teacher so apart from Urdu learning I can also give him tuitions on music. Since, I am recently moved to Australia for my studies and researching a part timer job to meet my daily needs. Additionally, I live next your lane so there will be no issue of the times. I am looking forward for your response Yours faithfully, Nazia Aamir
Dear sir/ Madam

I hope you find my letter in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health. The purpose of writing this letter is to inform you that I
am interested
in the job offer that you have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in the newspaper.

As per your ad you are searching an Urdu language teacher for your kids. I am from Pakistan and
currently
living in Australia.
Fortunately
had a great experience of teaching native language to Pakistani school going children.

Moreover
, you
The word 'glad' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
will glad
to know that I am
also
a certified musician teacher
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
apart from Urdu learning I can
also
give him
Possible spelling mistake found.
tuitions on
music.

Since, I am recently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to Australia for my studies and researching a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part timer
job to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
my daily needs.
Additionally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "your lane" or "next lane"?
next your lane
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there will be no issue of the times.

I am looking forward for your response

Yours
faithfully
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Nazia
Possible spelling mistake found.
Aamir
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IELTS letter teach their children a language for a year

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
147 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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