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talk about how you can help children with disabilities in your community

talk about how you can help children with disabilities in your community BLP6X
Hello teacher, my name is Khang, I’m in class 11a5. Today, I would like to talk about how I can helped children with disabilities in my community. The first thing I would like to mention is volunteer works are a good thing ịn our social like when i do a volunteer work, i will feel very happy inner myself especially is when I have a chance to help children who are disabled and abandoned. Actually, I am a person who very love participating in volunteer works so I always join this activities when I have the opportunity. As you see, here are 2 pictures when I take part in volunteer works one side is when I took part in a volunteer work which was held by youth volunteer team of my high school, I and they gave free mooncakes to wandering children, old persons and organized a little party for poor children in a small school in bình đức ward and this activity was taken place at the mid – autumn festival and another side is when had a chance to join a work in Tri Ton district with a volunteer group, we gave children and adult with disabilities bicycles, money, cakes, milk, candies, rice and so on. And now in covid -19 situation, I can’t do activities like that but sometimes me and my parents donate money, books for the new school year to poor and disabled children. I hope that the pandemic will be over soon and I will have more chance to do more for disabled children
Hello teacher, my name is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Khang
, I’m in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
11a5.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, I would like to talk about how I can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "help"
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with disabilities in my community. The
first
thing I would like to mention is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
works are a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing
Possible spelling mistake found.
ịn
our social like when
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
do a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
Did you mean "I"?
i
will feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
happy inner myself
especially
is when I have a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
are disabled
and abandoned. Actually, I am a person who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
participating in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
works
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
Did you mean "these"?
this
activities when I have the opportunity. As you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, here are 2 pictures when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
works one side is when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
took part
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
which
was held
by youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
team of my high school,
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
I and
they gave free
Possible spelling mistake found.
mooncakes
to wandering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
persons and organized a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
party for poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
school in
Possible spelling mistake found.
bình
Possible spelling mistake found.
đức
ward and this activity
was taken
place at the mid
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
autumn festival and another side is when had a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tri
Ton district with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
group, we gave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and adult with disabilities bicycles, money, cakes, milk, candies, rice and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. And
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
in
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid
-19 situation, I can’t do activities like that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
me and my parents donate money, books for the new school year to poor and disabled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. I hope that the pandemic will be over
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
and I will have more chance to do more for disabled
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
children
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IELTS letter talk about how you can help children with disabilities in your community

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
259 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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