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Correcting the Information on an International magazine

Correcting the Information on an International magazine gqLAD
Dear Sir / Madam, I have gone through an article in your magazine which explained about the tourists spots in Hyderabad. The article was well-written, but there is one thing which should be taken care of. In the 2nd paragraph of the article, it is mentioned that golkonda fort is just 2km away from Charminar, which is wrong. Charminar and Golkonda fort are situated at 2 different ends of the city, the distance between them is not surely 2km. The Distance between the two tourist destinations is around 20km. However, I recommed to perform a research before concluding on my inputs. As an International travel magazine, it is extremely important on your end to verify the content before publishing as there are a lot of eye-balls seeking for the information and there are high chances they can be misguided. According to me, the magazine should publish another article on hyderabad tourist spots with all the corrections. It will be even more better if the article addresses the mistake occured on the earlier article. Thank you.
Dear Sir / Madam,

I have gone through an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
article
in your magazine which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
about the tourists spots in Hyderabad. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
article
was well-written,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there is one thing which should
be taken
care of. In the 2nd paragraph of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
article
, it
is mentioned
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
golkonda
fort is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "2 km"
2km
away from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Charminar
, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Charminar
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Golkonda
fort
are situated
at 2
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ends of the city, the distance between them is not
surely
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "2 km"
2km
. The Distance between the two tourist destinations is around
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "20 km"
20km
.
However
, I
Possible spelling mistake found.
recommed
to perform
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
concluding on my inputs.

As an International travel magazine, it is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
on your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
to verify the content
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
publishing as there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
eye-balls seeking for the information and there are high chances they can
be misguided
.

This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
, the magazine should publish another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
article
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
hyderabad
tourist spots with all the corrections. It will be even
Use only "better" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more better
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
article
addresses the mistake
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "occurred", the past tense form of the verb 'occur'?
occured
on the earlier article.

Thank you.
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IELTS letter Correcting the Information on an International magazine

Letter
  American English
5 paragraphs
175 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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