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Study plan for university

Study plan for university 2xAVJ
My name is Mr. Telanchakorn Thangmisri. I am from Thailand and wish to apply for the Chinese Government Scholarship: CSC on Computer Science. I graduated from Matthayom Watnairong School, which has been considered as an outstanding secondary school and has received a royal award from the Department of General Education. The school is one of a few schools in which their curriculum is taught entirely in English. I graduated from high school majoring in English-Chinese and managed to achieve a GPA of 3. 75. I am able to communicate in 3 languages: Thai, Chinese and English. In January 2021, I took the Chinese HSK Level 3 test and obtained a score of 189. In addition, I got IELTS score was 5. 5 in November 2021. I was born and raised in Bangkok, which is the capital city of Thailand. My life in the capital has provided me with extensive insights into the advancement and rapid change in the computer-related ecosystem that has contributed towards a positive effect on the advancement of a developing country like Thailand. It has helped me realized that the present technological era is driven by a huge amount of data in the digital world. These data are the main drivers of every digital-related organization and inevitably lead to manpower needs with expertise in computer science, internet data management skills, as well as, being able to maintain the security of all data and operating systems. With this foresight in mind, I have been trying ever since to pursue the necessary knowledge and develop essential computer skills in order to become an indispensable member of the organization and society in the future. Although still considered as young and with only a secondary education, I have already gained extensive proficiency in working with computers. I started my freelance career at the age of 16 in which my job involved database archiving, computation, programming, video and audio editing, etc. I have since become proficient in Visual Studio (C++), Netbean (Java), Photoshop, and Premiere Pro. My income has allowed me to become self-reliant without the need to depend on my parents, who are, by the way, very proud of me. Freelancing with my self-acquired computer skills is an important driving force that has stimulated my interest in learning more about computer science so that it will enable me to work more efficiently and with a higher quality. With this mind, it has provided me with the motivation to attend various training courses, such as programming, computer systems, database systems, computer and programing, programming techniques, and numerous other computer-based skills. After every training session, I would then apply them to my works and have become aware that I could work faster and more efficiently. From the studies and trainings, it has led me to realize about China’s plan in striving to become an innovation Influencer and attempt towards becoming a global leader in artificial intelligence (AI) and a global center for technological center by the year 2035. China’s education system has given much importance to these goals by integrating programming courses in educational institutions, which I see as a good opportunity for learners to gain the essential knowledge and the ability to apply programming skills to create innovations and develop a conceptual framework for problem solving. For this reason, I am interested in pursuing a bachelor's degree in China, in order to bring back the knowledge, both in theory and practical applications, based on the Chinese model and apply them for future useful purposes. With my Chinese language capabilities, it has allowed me to access information about China through various Chinese websites. I have found information that China has rapidly developed the country and is driven by many innovations, such as having robots that help promote sales, a secure payment platform, and a highly efficient logistical process, which I think is a great way to improve the people's quality of life. These factors have proven to be a significant inspiration that is motivating me to further my knowledge of computer science in China, in order to be able to apply the knowledge to a developing country like Thailand. I am highly confident that I will definitely have the opportunity to propagate the highly efficient Chinese computer programs to the Thai people. Through my researches for Chinese universities, I have found that South China University of Technology University is a highly regarded university in China, where the curriculum is of the highest standards. It also has a good teaching culture and promotes learning within an attractive campus that is permeated with lush greenery which I consider to be a creative learning atmosphere. The popularity of international students in this university would also prove to be a good opportunity for me to exchange knowledge and views with Chinese and international students, for the purpose of enhancing educational knowledge to a more international level. I am confident that with my current knowledge, abilities and experiences, would be a suitable fit for studying in the field of Computer Science at South China University of Technology University. In addition, I am confident that I will be able to effectively integrate the knowledge, techniques, and methods that I currently possess and combine it with the computer science knowledge gained from studying in China, as well as, utilize it for the academic benefits to South China University of Technology University, China, and Thailand. With that in mind, I would be much appreciated if I would be given the opportunity to qualify for a Chinese Government Scholarship: CSC to pursue my bachelor's degree in Computer Science. From all of the above reasons, I would like to, therefore, submit a request to the Board of Directors, in order to provide me with an opportunity to develop myself and realize the significance of studying for a bachelor's degree in China. Due to the high cost of studying abroad, I currently do not have the ability to afford expensive tuition, and with the scholarship, I solemnly agree to abide to all of the Chinese laws and regulations, the university’s rules and regulations, and strict scholarship requirement during my studies in China. Your consideration and approval are highly appreciated. Thank you.
My name is Mr.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Telanchakorn
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thangmisri
. I am from Thailand and wish to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apply
for the Chinese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Scholarship
: CSC on Computer Science.

I graduated from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Matthayom
Possible spelling mistake found.
Watnairong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
, which has
been considered
as an outstanding secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and has received a royal award from the Department of General Education. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is one of a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in which their curriculum
is taught
entirely
in English. I graduated from high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
majoring in English-Chinese and managed to achieve a GPA of 3. 75. I am
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to communicate in 3 languages: Thai, Chinese and English. In January 2021, I took the Chinese
Possible spelling mistake found.
HSK
Level 3
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
and obtained a score of 189.
In addition
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
IELTS score was 5. 5 in November 2021.

I
was born
and raised in Bangkok, which is the capital city of Thailand. My life in the capital has provided me with extensive insights into the advancement and rapid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the computer-related ecosystem that has contributed towards a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on the advancement of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing country
like Thailand. It has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me realized that the present technological era
is driven
by a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
in the digital world. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
are the main drivers of every digital-related organization and
inevitably
lead to manpower needs with expertise in computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
, internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
,
as well
as, being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to maintain the security of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
and operating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
. With this foresight in mind, I have been trying ever since to pursue the necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and develop essential computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
an indispensable member of the organization and society in the future.

Although
still
considered as young and with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a secondary education, I have already gained extensive proficiency in working with computers. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
my freelance career at the age of 16 in which my job involved database archiving, computation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programming
, video and audio editing, etc. I have since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
proficient in Visual Studio (C++),
Possible spelling mistake found.
Netbean
(Java), Photoshop, and Premiere Pro. My income has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
me to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
self-reliant without the need to depend on my parents, who are, by the way,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
proud of me.

Freelancing with my self-acquired computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
driving force that has stimulated my interest in learning more about computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it will enable me to work more
efficiently
and with a higher quality. With this mind, it has provided me with the motivation to attend various training courses, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programming
, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
, database
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
, computer and
Possible spelling mistake found.
programing
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programming
techniques, and numerous other computer-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. After every training session, I would then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apply
them to my works and have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
aware that I could work faster and more
efficiently
.

From the studies and trainings, it has led me to realize about China’s plan in striving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
an innovation Influencer and attempt towards becoming a global leader in artificial intelligence (AI) and a global center for technological center by the year 2035. China’s education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
much importance to these goals by integrating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programming
courses in educational institutions, which I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
for learners to gain the essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and the ability to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apply
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to create innovations and develop a conceptual framework for problem solving.
For this reason
, I
am interested
in pursuing a bachelor's degree in China, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to bring back the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
, both in theory and practical applications, based on the Chinese model and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apply
them for future useful purposes.

With my Chinese language capabilities, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
me to access information about China through various Chinese websites. I have found information that China has
rapidly
developed the country and
is driven
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
innovations, such as having robots that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
promote sales, a secure payment platform, and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
highly
efficient logistical process, which I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
is a great way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's quality of life. These factors have proven to be a significant inspiration
that is
motivating me to
further
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
in China, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apply
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing country
like Thailand. I am
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
highly
confident that I will definitely have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
to propagate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
highly
efficient Chinese computer programs to the Thai
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Through my researches for Chinese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
, I have found that South China
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
of Technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
highly
regarded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
in China, where the curriculum is of the highest standards. It
also
has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
teaching culture and promotes learning within an attractive campus that
is permeated
with lush greenery which I consider to be a creative learning atmosphere. The popularity of international students in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
would
also
prove to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
for me to exchange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and views with Chinese and international students, for the purpose of enhancing educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
to a more international level.

I am confident that with my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
, abilities and experiences, would be a suitable fit for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in the field of Computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
at South China
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
of Technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
.
In addition
, I am confident that I will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
effectively
integrate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
, techniques, and methods that I
currently
possess and combine it with the computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
gained from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in China,
as well
as, utilize it for the academic benefits to South China
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
of Technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
, China, and Thailand. With that in mind, I would be much appreciated if I would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
to qualify for a Chinese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Scholarship
: CSC to pursue my bachelor's degree in Computer Science.

From
Consider using "all the".
all of the
above reasons, I would like to,
therefore
, submit a request to the Board of Directors, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to provide me with an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
to develop myself and realize the significance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
for a bachelor's degree in China. Due to the high cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
abroad, I
currently
do not have the ability to afford expensive tuition, and with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholarship
, I
solemnly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to abide to
Consider using "all the".
all of the
Chinese laws and regulations, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations, and strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholarship
requirement during my studies in China. Your consideration and approval are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
highly
appreciated. Thank you.
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IELTS letter Study plan for university

Letter
  American English
10 paragraphs
1027 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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