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Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. g2nl
Dear Mam, I am writing to request off from 10th of March to 17th of the same month in order to prepare myself to final week exam. I am in the third year and my course is computer programming. As a part of my curriculum. I need to focus on my study because I have a low grades in my course that I need to catch up. My professor in this subject talk to me recently regarding my low grades else I will not finished this course at the end of this school year. I have decided to work my studies hardly in order me to graduate in the future. I tried to reach your office many times and my requests were rejected because of their busy schedule. The said final exam is approaching. I would be grateful if you could consider my request and grant me permission to take a week off. I look forward for positive response. Yours truly, Junmar M. Penaflor
Dear Mam,

I am writing to request off from 10th of March to 17th of the same month in order to prepare myself to final week exam. I am in the third year and my course is computer programming.

“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a part of my curriculum. I need to focus on my study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I have a low grades in my course that I need to catch up. My professor in this subject talk to me recently regarding my low grades else I will not
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "finish"
finished
this course at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of this school year. I have decided to work my studies hardly in order me to graduate in the future.

I tried to reach your office
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times and my requests
were rejected
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their busy schedule. The said final exam is approaching. I would be grateful if you could consider my request and grant me permission to take a week off.

I look forward for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
response.

Yours
truly
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Junmar
M.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Penaflor

IELTS letter Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society.

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
163 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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