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send a message to your friend who you haven't talken for a long time

send a message to your friend who you haven't talken for a long time gGwnO
Dear Naomi, I hope you are doing well during this time. First of all, I would like to send a message to say hello to you. Second, if you would like to pass me jobs for our new academic year. Please feel free to send me any works you need to make for our children. I have learn a lot of things last year that i think i can use for my knowledge. i hope you are happy with your position this year. i wish we can make an amazing team with our heart beats.
Dear Naomi,

I hope you are doing well during this time.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
a message to say hello to you. Second, if you would like to pass me jobs for our new academic year.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
feel free to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
me any works you need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
for our children.

I have
Use past participle here: "learned", "learnt".
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things last year that
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
Did you mean "I"?
i
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for my knowledge.
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
hope you are happy with your position this year.
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
wish we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an amazing team with our heart beats.
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IELTS letter send a message to your friend who you haven't talken for a long time

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
95 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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