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Request Assistance From Property Manager during relocation

Request Assistance From Property Manager during relocation b25oX
Dear Mr. Williams My family and I plan to relocate to another country and require support in availing property in your vicinity. We are a family of 5 consisting of myself, my wife, and 3 beloved children. I work in a public law firm handling top cases in our locale while my wife serves as a general practitioner in a reputed medical institution. All of our children are still in primary education enrolled in a private school. The desired place is a 2 story building consisting of 5 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, and a garden. The bedrooms should have a contemporary design to them but still, retaining their functionality. In addition, bathrooms should be accessible from the bedrooms and all other common areas. Lastly, the garden should have a nice view and is spacious enough to accommodate numerous plants as we love gardening. Our ideal location would be in the city center, close to transportation, and all other necessities like food, supplies, and laundry. Furthermore, the area should be free from any major crime or riots as we prefer peace and quiet. Finally, we hope to have a welcoming and friendly neighbors around the apartment. We are looking forward to your expert assistance in this endeavor. Please contact us as soon as you are available. Regards, Carlo Lu
Dear Mr. Williams

My family and I plan to relocate to another country and require support in availing property in your vicinity.

We are a family of 5 consisting of myself, my wife, and 3 beloved children. I work in a public law firm handling top cases in our locale while my wife serves as a general practitioner in a reputed medical institution. All of our children are
still
in primary education enrolled in a private school.

The desired place is a
2 story
building consisting of 5 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, and a garden. The bedrooms should have a contemporary design to them
but
still
, retaining their functionality.
In addition
, bathrooms should be accessible from the bedrooms and all other common areas.
Lastly
, the garden should have a nice view and is spacious
enough
to accommodate numerous plants as we
love
gardening.

Our ideal location would be in the city center, close to transportation, and all other necessities like food, supplies, and laundry.
Furthermore
, the area should be free from any major crime or riots as we prefer peace and quiet.
Finally
, we hope to have a welcoming and friendly neighbors around the apartment.

We are looking forward to your expert assistance in this endeavor.
Please
contact us as
soon
as you are available.

Regards,

Carlo Lu
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IELTS letter Request Assistance From Property Manager during relocation

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
216 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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