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Report computer malfunction to manager

Report computer malfunction to manager 86W2B
Dear John, I came across a computer malfunction that may need further investigation. In the middle of preparing the report you requested from me yesterday, the spreadsheet application I was using suddenly crashed. This was truly a peculiar situation since this never happened before. Furthermore, any other application failed to respond when I tried to invoke them. This unfortunate incident currently hampers my productivity since generally, this program is one of the tools I mainly use. It is capable of complex calculations, and the generation of tables, and charts that we use for a presentation. Finally, with this being inaccessible, we will certainly miss our deadlines. To address this issue, a recommended solution would be to quickly raise this to the IT department. The sent request should have a sense of urgency, and an expression of its importance not just to the department, but to the company as a whole. If in case this is further delayed, we should include the Chief Operating Officer in the correspondence to ensure expediency. As this is a matter that impacts our team, please take the time to assess the situation, and discuss how we should proceed as soon as possible. Thanks, Carlo Lu
Dear John,

I came across a computer malfunction that may need
further
investigation.

In the middle of preparing the report you requested from me yesterday, the spreadsheet application I was using
suddenly
crashed. This was
truly
a peculiar situation since this never happened
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Furthermore
, any other application failed to respond when I tried to invoke them.

This unfortunate incident
currently
hampers my productivity since
generally
, this program is one of the tools I
mainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. It is capable of complex calculations, and the generation of tables, and charts that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for a presentation.
Finally
, with this being inaccessible, we will
certainly
miss our deadlines.

To address this issue, a recommended solution would be to
quickly
raise this to the IT department. The
Did you mean "scent"?
sent
request should have a sense of urgency, and an expression of its importance not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to the department,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
as a whole. If in case this is
further
delayed, we should include the Chief Operating Officer in the correspondence to ensure expediency.

As this is a matter that impacts our team,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
take the time to assess the situation, and discuss how we should proceed as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.

Thanks,

Carlo Lu
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IELTS letter Report computer malfunction to manager

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
199 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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