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Recycling process of aluminum cans.

Recycling process of aluminum cans. K3r70
The pictorial diagram demonstrates few steps of recycling the aluminum cans spanning from collection to recycling with necessary tools. It is apparent in the given process chart that first of all it’s started with the collection of some used cans from various areas. The collected cans cleaned, sorted, shredded and compressed with the help of machine. In the second step, compressed cans are heated and melted in high temperature. Taking into account rest of the information, the aluminum is rolled out to a thickens of 2. 5mm to 6mm. Afterwards, aluminum is ready to reuse and convert in the form of cans. The final and last step is about distribution of recycled products. The picture illustrates that 74% of drink products recycled in United Kingdom. All in all, it is limpid that there are seven stages of recycling which starts from collection and with sold out of drink products such as coca cola, Pepsi and many more.
The pictorial diagram demonstrates few steps of recycling the aluminum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
spanning from collection to recycling with necessary tools.

It is apparent in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
process chart that
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
it’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with the collection of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
from various areas. The collected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
cleaned, sorted, shredded and compressed with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of machine. In the second step, compressed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
are heated
and melted in high temperature.

Taking into account rest of the information, the aluminum
is rolled
out to a thickens of 2.
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "5 mm"
5mm
to
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "6 mm"
6mm
. Afterwards, aluminum is ready to reuse and convert in the form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
. The final and last step
You should probably use "am", "are", "aren".
is
about distribution of recycled products. The picture illustrates that 74% of drink products recycled
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the United Kingdom".
in United Kingdom
.

All in all, it is limpid that there are seven stages of recycling which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
from collection and with sold out of drink products such as coca cola, Pepsi and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.

IELTS letter Recycling process of aluminum cans.

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
157 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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