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Read this job announcement and write an APPLICATION LETTER for it

Read this job announcement and write an APPLICATION LETTER for it YkAxm
Dear Sir/Madam, I have learned from a job announcement on your website that you are looking for home-based ESL teacher with required degrees, certificates and experience. So, I am determined to write to you and apply for the job. I graduated from Dong Thap University, majoring in English Teacher education with excellent rank. I had three-year experience as an ESL teacher at Sunny school. I also have wonderful communication skills with learners, especially young learners L2. Besides, I am a person who is lively, engaging and have a passion for teaching English. I also meet all of device requirement about laptop with webcam, headset with microphone and noise - cancelling, reliable Internet connection and a backup wifi router using high speed 4G transmission. I have a private room using for teaching and study only in my home, which is quiet, clutter-free, and well-lit space With my strong qualifications and rich experience, I strongly believe that I can become a good teacher in your center. I am enclosing with this letter my CV, a notarized copies of Dong Thap university diploma and photos about my teaching devices. Thank you very much for your attention and consideration. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully,
Dear Sir/Madam,

I have learned from a job announcement on your website that you are looking for home-based ESL
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
with required degrees, certificates and experience.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I
am determined
to write to you and apply for the job.

I graduated from Dong
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thap
University, majoring in English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teacher
education with excellent rank. I had three-year experience as an ESL
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
at Sunny school.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
also
have wonderful communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
with learners,
especially
young learners L2.

Besides
, I am a person who is lively, engaging and have a passion for teaching English. I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
Consider using "all device" or "all of the device".
all of device
requirement about laptop with webcam, headset with microphone and noise
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
cancelling, reliable Internet connection and a backup
Did you mean "Wi-Fi"? (This is the officially approved term by the Wi-Fi Alliance.)
wifi
router using high speed 4G transmission. I have a private room using for teaching and study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in my home, which is quiet, clutter-free, and well-lit space

With my strong qualifications and rich experience, I
strongly
believe that I can become a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
in your center.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am enclosing with this letter my CV, a notarized
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "copy"?
copies
of Dong
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thap
university diploma and photos about my teaching devices.

Thank you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much for your attention and consideration. I am looking forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
faithfully
,
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IELTS letter Read this job announcement and write an APPLICATION LETTER for it

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
206 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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