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Read the advertisement below. Write a letter to the company to

Read the advertisement below. Write a letter to the company to ygLYD
Dear Jane Green, I'm writing to apply for the position which you have recently posted in the Leasure Time magazine. I'm a student at Harbon University, literature specialization. Currently, I'm looking for a part-time job. The role is very appealing to me and I'm absolutely passionate about music, particularly popular music, techno and trans music. I was part of the school band, I hope it will add me extra points during consideration. As I mentioned above I'm a student. I believe I can easily work 4 hours per day and 5 or more hours during the weekend until January. In the first month of winter, the exam session will start and I would like to info you in advance that I won't work during this period of time. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you. Sincerely, Lily
Dear Jane Green,

I'm writing to apply for the position which you have recently posted in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Leasure
Time magazine. I'm a student at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Harbon
University, literature specialization.
Currently
, I'm looking for a part-time job.

The role is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
appealing to me and I'm
absolutely
passionate about music,
particularly
popular music, techno and trans music. I was part of the school band, I hope it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
me extra points during consideration.

“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
I mentioned above I'm a student. I believe I can
easily
work 4 hours per day and 5 or more hours during the weekend until January. In the
first
month of winter, the exam session will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
and I would like to info you in advance that I won't work during this period of time.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely
, Lily
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IELTS letter Read the advertisement below. Write a letter to the company to

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
143 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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