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Presentation letter for my host family

Presentation letter for my host family YoXQ
Dear Host Family, Thank you for taking the time to read my letter. My name is Derin Öneş. I’m 15 years old and I live in İstanbul. I live with my mom, dad, and my little sister. My dad is 51 years old. He is an art director and he has his own company. My mom is 43 years old and she is an advertiser. My sister is 9 years old and she is going to elementary school. This summer, I spent a month in London without my family and I could easily say that it was the best experience that I ever had. Visiting a country is one thing, but living there even if it’s only for a month is definitely another experience. While you visit a country, you go to the famous museums or the most known restaurants. You don’t get a chance to understand the culture of the country deeply because there isn’t enough time. In London, I got the chance to live like a local; I took the subway on my own, I got lost a lot of times but eventually, I memorized it and It was the best feeling in the world. I walk the streets with no intention of going anywhere. I experienced the sunny and rainy days. I really felt like I belonged there and I loved it! This is one of the main reasons I want to participate in an exchange program. This program is an amazing opportunity because while living like a local, I also get to go to school with local kids my age. As a scholar, I like to think of myself as very self-disciplined. My favorite subjects are maths, foreign languages, and history. I like math even though I’m not the best at it because I think that no other subject gives you that feeling when you do a math problem correct. It makes my brain work faster and quicker than normal and I like that. Foreign language is one of my favorite subjects because I like to learn new languages and ı have really good language learning skills which makes it easy to learn quickly. As for history, I like to learn about the past of the world that we live in and see the connections between the past and the present. I think that it is important to learn our past to understand better of our present and future. My school doesn’t rank students but I could say that my rank is a little higher than average. Everybody has difficulties in their daily lives, and mine is definitely waking up early in the morning and concentrating on schoolwork when I come home. One of the biggest obstacles that I faced in my life was changing schools. Last year, I left my old school which I had been going to for 9 years and I got accepted in a really good French school. It was my turning point. I wanted to change schools because all my previous friends were also my school friends. I wanted to open up to the world and try to get to know people other than my schoolmates. I thought that it would be easy but I was very wrong. I needed to make new friends which I had nothing in common. I needed to work harder than I ever did to learn a language that I had no idea about. There was a lot of new and hard things in my life and it was even harder to manage them all. To overcome them, I found a solution to my problems. I became more outgoing, more social, more easy-going. I worked really hard to learn a new language and I found some fun ways to do so. I started watching popular tv shows in French, I read children’s books in French and they all helped me a lot. All of my relationships are always based on trust, love, and respect. This is one of the main reasons why my family and I are always on good terms with each other. As a family, we are very close and we are open to each other about everything. I also have a very trustful and caring relationship with my friends too. I tend to be a very loyal friend and I try to choose my friends like that too. I have a big group of friends and they always say that I forgive easily and that I don’t hold grudges. I always try to fix problems by talking to the other person. I think that communication in a relationship no matter with who is very important. My parents always encourage me to find a solution to my problem all on my own no matter what the situation is. I always seek advice from them because I think that they have a lot of experience and wisdom to share in any topic. I always try to solve my own problems by myself and thanks to my parents I am definitely self-sufficient. I am interested in musicals, making collages, drawing, sports and listening to music. My dad is an art director, my aunt is a screenwriter and my cousin is a painter and that’s why my family really appreciates art and cinematography and this trait passed to me too. I enjoy going to art galleries, museums, musicals, and theaters. I like to play lots of sports but I am not great in any of them. I used to be in a volleyball team when I was younger. I played volleyball for 5 years. I was also in a basketball club for 2 years. I also like dancing because I think that it is wonderful to express yourself without words and through dancing. I also enjoy drawing. I am not very talented at it but I like to increase my creativity. My personal goals for this program is to learn a different culture, a different language and to have a different perspective than what I am used to. The first two months would be difficult for me to learn the language but I am a very ambitious person and I am very enthusiastic to learn a new language and I will make sure to learn the new language in no time. Until I learn the new language, I will try to communicate in English which is a language I am very good at. Before leaving my hometown, I will take language lessons to make myself at least a beginner level in the language that I’ll be engaged in for a year. I also want to improve my cooking so that I can cook some famous Turkish foods for you! I think that the host family is the most important part of the AFS exchange program because it will be like my real family even if it’s only for a year. I really hope that I get a chance to be a part of your family and spend a year with you! Sincerely, Derin
Dear Host Family,

Thank you for taking the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to read my letter.

My name is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Derin
Possible spelling mistake found.
Öneş
. I’m 15 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
and I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
İstanbul
. I l
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ive
with my mom, dad, and my l
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ittle
sister. My dad is 51 years o
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ld.
He is an
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art
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
director and
he has his o
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
wn
c
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ompany.
My mom is 43 years o
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ld
and she is an advertiser. My sister is 9 years o
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ld
and she is going to elementary school.

This summer, I spent a month in London without my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and I could
easily
say that it was the best experience that I ever had. Visiting a country is one thing, b
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ut
living there even if it’s o
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
nly
for a month is definitely another experience. While you visit a country, you go to the f
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
amous
museums or the most known restaurants. You don’t g
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
et
a chance to understand the culture of the country
deeply
b
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ecause
there isn’t e
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nough
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time
. In London, I g
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ot
the chance to l
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ive
like a local; I took the subway on my o
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wn,
I g
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ot
lost a
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lot
of
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times
b
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ut
eventually
, I memorized it and It was the best feeling in the world. I walk the streets with no intention of going anywhere. I experienced the sunny and rainy days.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
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really
felt like I belonged there and I l
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
oved
it! This is one of the main reasons I want to participate in an exchange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
is an amazing opportunity b
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ecause
while living like a local, I a
lso
g
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
et
to go to
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school
with local kids my age.

As a scholar, I like to t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hink
of myself as v
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ery
self-disciplined. My favorite subjects are
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
, foreign
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languages
, and history. I like math e
ven though
I’m not the best at it b
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ecause
I t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hink
that no
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other
subject gives you that feeling when you do a math
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problem
correct. It m
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
akes
my brain work faster and quicker than normal and I like that. Foreign
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language
is one of my favorite subjects b
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ecause
I like to
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learn
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new
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languages
and ı have
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really
g
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ood
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language
learning s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kills
which m
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
akes
it easy to
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learn
quickly
. As for history, I like to
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learn
about the past of the world that we l
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ive
in and s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ee
the connections between the past and the present. I t
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hink
that it is i
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
mportant
to
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learn
our past to understand better of our present and future. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
doesn’t rank students b
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ut
I could say that my rank is a l
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ittle
higher than average.

Everybody has difficulties in their daily l
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ives,
and mine is definitely waking up early in the morning and concentrating on schoolwork when I c
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ome
home. One of the biggest obstacles that I faced in my life was changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. Last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, I l
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
eft
my o
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ld
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school
which I had been going to for 9 years and I g
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ot
a
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ccepted
in a
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really
g
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ood
French
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. It was my turning point. I wanted to c
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hange
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schools
b
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ecause
all my previous
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friends
were a
lso
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. I wanted to open up to the world and try to g
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
et
to know p
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
eople
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
than my schoolmates.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hought
that it would be easy b
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ut
I was v
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ery
w
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
rong.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
needed to m
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
which I had nothing in common.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
needed to work harder than I ever did to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
that I had no i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dea
about. There was a
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lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
and h
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ard
things in my life and it was even harder to manage them all. To overcome them, I found a solution to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. I became more outgoing, more social, more easy-going. I worked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
h
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ard
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and I found s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ome
fun ways to do s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
o.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tarted
watching popular
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hows
in French, I read children’s books in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
French and
they all h
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
elped
me a lot.

All of my relationships are always based on trust, l
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ove,
and respect. This is one of the main reasons why my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and I are always on g
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ood
terms with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. As a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, we are v
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ery
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
close and
we are open to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
about everything. I a
lso
have a v
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ery
trustful and caring relationship with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
too. I tend to be a v
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ery
loyal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
and I try to choose my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
like that too.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have a b
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ig
group of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
friends and
they always say that I forgive
easily
and that I don’t hold grudges.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
always try to f
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ix
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
by talking to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
person.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hink
that communication in a relationship no matter with who is v
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ery
i
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
mportant.


My parents always encourage me to find a solution to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
all on my o
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
wn
no matter what the situation is. I always seek advice from them b
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ecause
I t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hink
that they have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of experience and wisdom to share in any topic. I always try to solve my o
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
wn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
by myself and thanks to my parents I am definitely self-sufficient.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am interested
in musicals, making collages, drawing, sports and listening to music. My dad is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
director, my aunt is a screenwriter and my cousin is a painter and that’s why my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
appreciates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and cinematography and this trait passed to me too. I enjoy going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
galleries, museums, musicals, and theaters. I like to play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of sports b
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ut
I am not great in any of them.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
u
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sed
to be in a volleyball team when I was younger.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
played volleyball for 5 years.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
was a
lso
in a basketball club for 2 years.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
a
lso
like dancing b
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ecause
I t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hink
that it is wonderful to express yourself without words and through dancing.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
a
lso
enjoy drawing.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am not v
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ery
talented at it b
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ut
I like to increase my creativity.

My personal goals for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a d
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ifferent
culture, a d
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ifferent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and to have a d
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ifferent
perspective than what I am u
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sed
to. The f
irst
two months would be difficult for me to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
b
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ut
I am a v
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ery
ambitious
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
person and
I am v
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ery
enthusiastic to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and I will m
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ake
sure to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Until I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, I will try to communicate in English which is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
I am v
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ery
g
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ood
at. B
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
efore
leaving my hometown, I will take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
lessons to m
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ake
myself at least a beginner level in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
that I’ll
be engaged
in for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. I a
lso
want to i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
mprove
my cooking s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
o
that I can cook s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ome
f
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
amous
Turkish foods for you!

I t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hink
that the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is the most i
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
mportant
part of the AFS exchange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
b
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ecause
it will be like my real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
even if it’s o
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
nly
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
hope that I g
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
et
a chance to be a part of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and spend a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
with you!

Sincerely
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Derin

IELTS letter Presentation letter for my host family

Letter
  American English
13 paragraphs
1165 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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