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My name is Alex and I am a software developer in the Ericsson privated limited. I am writing this letter to seek your attention towards the decision of the firm to shutdown the cafeteria.

My name is Alex and I am a software developer in the Ericsson privated limited. I am writing this letter to seek your attention towards the decision of the firm to shutdown the cafeteria. kYLLn
My name is Alex and I am a software developer in the Ericsson privated limited. I am writing this letter to seek your attention towards the decision of the firm to shutdown the cafeteria. First of all, I would like to inform you about the reasons of low usage of cafeteria by the employees. Most of the workers do not try at this cafe because of its low quality food and baverages. Apart from this, there are very few options on the menu which often encourages the employees to not visit this cafeteria. Due to above said reasons, employees prefer to go nearby restaurants and eating points which waste their plenty of time during the breaks. Not only this, due to unavailability of tea and coffee, sometimes, makes the staff less active. This can adversely affect the production of the company. I would like to share some suggestion in order to improve this cafeteria. Company should inspect regularly the quality of raw materials used in the cafeteria so that it can be improved. In addition, contract of the cafeteria ought to be given through proper advertisement of tender with specified menu items. This can increase the competition and, thus, can eventually raise the standard of the contractor. I shall be thankful to you if these issues will be raised in board meeting. Yours sincerely Alex Mathew
My name is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Alex and
I am a software developer in the Ericsson
Possible spelling mistake found.
privated
limited. I am writing this letter to seek your attention towards the decision of the firm
Did you mean "to shut down"?
to shutdown
the cafeteria.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I would like to inform you about the reasons of low usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cafeteria
by the employees. Most of the workers do not try at this
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its low quality food and
Possible spelling mistake found.
baverages
. Apart from this, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few options on the menu which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
encourages the employees to not visit this cafeteria.

Due to above said reasons, employees prefer to go nearby restaurants and eating points which waste their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of time during the breaks. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this, due to unavailability of tea and coffee,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the staff less active. This can
adversely
affect the production of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

I would like to share
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
suggestion in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cafeteria
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Company
should inspect
regularly
the quality of raw materials
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cafeteria
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
.
In addition
, contract of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cafeteria
ought to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
through proper
The usual collocation for "advertisement" is "for" not "of". Did you mean "advertisement for"?
advertisement of
tender with specified menu items. This can increase the competition and,
thus
, can
eventually
raise the standard of the contractor.

I shall be thankful to you if these issues will
be raised
in board meeting.

Yours
sincerely


Alex Mathew
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IELTS letter My name is Alex and I am a software developer in the Ericsson privated limited. I am writing this letter to seek your attention towards the decision of the firm to shutdown the cafeteria.

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
225 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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