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my academic background with other activties

my academic background with other activties xaPDa
hello my name is Zeyad Ehab abed. I am a fresh graduate from the faculty of pharmacy, credit hour system, Horus university in Egypt (HUE) with a total GBA = high very good with a degree of honor (3. 69 of 4). From 2016 to 2019 I participate in GTARCADE company(a multinational company making games on google play and Appstore) As a translator, secretary, and moderator (translating English content and adjust it according to Arabic culture, recording minutes of meetings with other moderators and suggesting events names, forms, and when to publish this event to achieve good sales within games ) Also, in 2019 In Horus university making a campaign in the university field and raising awareness about pancreatic diseases. In 2020, due to the pandemic, I tried to make activities online and it worked. I participated in (YLP-6) Youth leadership program supported by UNDP (united nation development program). I with a team from all over the delta region collaborating and discussing ideas for businesses and entrepreneurs.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
hello
my name is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Zeyad
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ehab
abed. I am a fresh graduate from the faculty of pharmacy, credit hour system, Horus university in Egypt (HUE) with a total GBA = high
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
with a degree of honor (3. 69 of 4).

From 2016 to 2019 I participate in
Possible spelling mistake found.
GTARCADE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
(a multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
making games on google play and
If you mean the Apple digital distribution platform, use "App Store". For Amazon, use "Amazon Appstore".
Appstore
)

As a translator, secretary, and moderator (translating English content and adjust it according to Arabic culture, recording minutes of meetings with other moderators and suggesting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
names, forms, and when to publish this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
to achieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sales within games
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)


Also
, in 2019 In Horus university making a campaign in the university field and raising awareness about pancreatic diseases.

In 2020, due to the pandemic, I tried to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
activities online and it worked. I participated in (YLP-6) Youth leadership program supported by
Possible spelling mistake found.
UNDP
(united nation development program). I with a team from all over the delta region collaborating and discussing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
for businesses and entrepreneurs.
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IELTS letter my academic background with other activties

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
167 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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