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Museums and art galleries should concentrate on works that show history and culture of their own country rather than works of other parts in the world. Agree or disagree v.4

Museums and art galleries should concentrate on works that show history and culture of their own country rather than works of other parts in the world. Agree or disagree v. 4
Most people believe that exhibition rooms should pay attention to national artworks which illustrate history and culture of this religion rather than international pieces of art. In my opinion, I totally agree with this statement and I will explain in the essay. First of all, it’s particularly important that the main mission for each country is artworks' conservation and development of them. Pieces of art describe tradition, culture, history, people’s life of each country through materials which made they have their own features by artists’ creations. Furthermore, art does not only works but also ideals, nation elites so pieces of art' s protection illustrate the big love of inhabitants who live in this country. Another point is the evolving global work of arts. Although these artworks illustrate art' s development, international history, and human' s struggles all around the world, but it extremely that these works actually make bored with customers because of popularity. Besides, most viewers when they visit exhibition rooms in another country, they want to discover new things which their country don' t have and they want to gain more knowledge about the typical features of this country such as culture, history and inhabitants' life. In conclusion, most people prefer concentration on national works than international pieces of art. Overall, I extremely agree with this opinion.
Most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that exhibition rooms should pay attention to national artworks which illustrate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and culture of this religion
rather
than international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pieces
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
. In my opinion, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in the essay.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it’s
particularly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that the main mission for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
artworks&
#039; conservation and development of them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pieces
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
tradition, culture,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s life of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
through materials which made they have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
features by artists’ creations.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
The verb 'does' requires base form of the verb: "work"
works
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
ideals, nation elites
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pieces
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
art&
#039; s protection illustrate the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
of inhabitants who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in this country.

Another point is the evolving global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
. Although these artworks illustrate
Possible spelling mistake found.
art&
#039; s development, international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
human&
#039; s struggles all around the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
extremely
that these works actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
bored with customers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of popularity.
Besides
, most viewers when they visit exhibition rooms in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, they want to discover new things which their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
have and
they want to gain more knowledge about the typical features of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
such as culture,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
inhabitants&
#039; life.

In conclusion
, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer concentration on national works than international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pieces
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
.
Overall
, I
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS letter Museums and art galleries should concentrate on works that show history and culture of their own country rather than works of other parts in the world. Agree or disagree v. 4

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
219 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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