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Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves.

Dear Bob I'm so happy to hear from you. I can assure you that there are lots of different kind of festivals in my country. However they are rarely visited by residents, goverment are trying their best to attract as many people as possible. The most successful attempt, in my opinion, was book festival in Lviv. The event takes place in the Palace of Arts and has been able to receive guests since 2005. During 5 days, connoisseurs of cultural events are able to attend many educational events, talk to authors and buy books. Although there are a lot of fans of reading in Lviv, organizers are aware of the fact that some part of society may not be interested in books and in the light of this fact find the festival rather boring. Therefore they have combined it with a board game festival. In addition to the fact that both events go with very well, it also allows people to get acquainted with another culture and get a chance to become interested in some authors. In other words, the festival are making people more rounded as a person and are broadening the circle of their contacts every year. You know, I'm a big fun of board games and really apreciate the fact that organizatiors combine them. I tend to believe that this information will be enough for you project. I hope that you will find it rather helpful. I'd be more than glad to send you some pictures if you would like me to. Keep in touch. Best wishes, Oksana
Dear Bob

I'm
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
happy to hear from you. I can assure you that there are lots of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
in my country.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
they are rarely visited by residents,
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
are trying their best to attract as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as possible. The most successful attempt, in my opinion, was book
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
in Lviv.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
takes place in the Palace of Arts and has been able to receive guests since 2005. During 5 days, connoisseurs of cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are able to attend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
, talk to authors and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
books. Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
fans of reading in Lviv, organizers are aware of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part of society may not
be interested
in books and in the light of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
rather
boring.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
they have combined it with a board game
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
.
In addition
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
acquainted with another culture and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to become interested in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
authors.
In other words
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
are making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
more rounded as a person and are broadening the circle of their contacts every year. You know, I'm a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
fun of board games and
really
Possible spelling mistake found.
apreciate
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
organizatiors
combine them.

I tend to believe that this information will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for you project. I hope that you will find it
rather
helpful.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
'd be more than glad to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pictures if you would like me to.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Keep
in touch.

Best wishes,

Oksana
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IELTS letter Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves.

Letter
  American English
5 paragraphs
260 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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