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you have won a competition and won a prize write a letter to invite a friend

Dear Ali I am writing to inform you that my college organized a prize distribution ceremony on 25th of February. That's why, I am inviting you for the festival of intercollegiate competition for co curricular activities. The prizing ceremony is planned to acknowledge these winners who actively participated. I supposed to invite you on that event but you were busy in your exams. However, according to your schedule you are free these days and you can participate in the event. My college planned one day award celebrations. It will start 8 'o' clock in the morning of 25th February. We have 4 segments to be awarded the prizes. First will be the drama competition, in which I have participated. I am hopeful for the recognition, I keep my finger crossed. Than will be the music, comedy, stall & model competition. The whole event will be finished with in 3 hours. I am sure you will enjoy the show. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours sincerely Ahmad Mustafa
Dear Ali

I am writing to inform you that my college organized a prize distribution ceremony on 25th of February. That's why, I am inviting you for the festival of intercollegiate competition for co curricular activities. The prizing ceremony
is planned
to acknowledge these winners who
actively
participated. I supposed to invite you on that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you were busy in your exams.
However
, according to your schedule you are free these days and you can participate in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
.

My college planned one day award celebrations. It will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
8 '
There should be no space here: "o'clock".
o' clock
in the morning of 25th February. We have 4 segments to
be awarded
the prizes.
First
will be the drama competition, in which I have participated. I am hopeful for the recognition, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
my finger crossed.
Did you mean "Then"?
Than
will be the music, comedy, stall & model competition. The whole
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
will
be finished
with in 3 hours. I am sure you will enjoy the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
.

I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours
sincerely


Ahmad Mustafa
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IELTS letter you have won a competition and won a prize write a letter to invite a friend

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
169 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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