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Many foods are shipped from far away. Some people think that eating local food is more environmentally and economically. Do you think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

Many foods are shipped from far away. Some people think that eating local food is more environmentally and economically. Do you think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages? daVr
Dear Sir, I am writing this letter to check whether you have a blue iPhone 11 pro max with 256 memory available or you will be able to order them for me. I live in the city of Leshan. I checked several cell phone stores in my city and none of them have iPhone 11 pro max with blue color and 256G memory. Some of them have iPhone 11 pro max with different colors. And the only store has a blue iPhone 11 pro max but with only 128G memory. I heard from one of my friends that he just purchased the same iPhone from your store last month. Therefore, I am checking whether you still have the same iPhone in stock. If you do not have that iPhone yet, will you be able to order one for me? Another question I have is about the price. How much will you charge for that Iphone? The reason that I chose Iphone 11 instead of iPhone 12 is Iphone 11 is much cheaper now since Iphone 12 is available now. And since I need to take bus to your city to pick up it, would you please also tell me how long will you able to hold that Iphone for me once it is available. Thank you very much for your help. Regards, Vachana
Dear Sir,

I am writing this letter to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
whether you have a blue
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
iPhone 11 pro
max with 256 memory available or you will be able to order them for me.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the city of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Leshan
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
several cell phone stores in my city and none of them have
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
iPhone 11 pro
max with blue color and 256G memory.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them have
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
iPhone 11 pro
max with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
colors. And the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
store has a blue
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
iPhone 11 pro
max
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
128G memory. I heard from one of my friends that he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
the same iPhone from your store last month.
Therefore
, I am checking whether you
still
have the same iPhone in stock. If you do not have that iPhone
yet
, will you be able to order one for me?

Another question I have is about the price. How much will you charge for that
Possible spelling mistake found.
Iphone
? The reason that I chose
Possible spelling mistake found.
Iphone
11
instead
of iPhone 12 is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Iphone
11 is much cheaper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
since
Possible spelling mistake found.
Iphone
12 is available
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. And since I need to take bus to your city to pick up it, would you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
me how long will
Did you mean "you be"?
you
able to hold that
Possible spelling mistake found.
Iphone
for me once it is available.

Thank you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much for your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.

Regards,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Vachana
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IELTS letter Many foods are shipped from far away. Some people think that eating local food is more environmentally and economically. Do you think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
222 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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