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local hospital’s Emergency Department with your young child

local hospital’s Emergency Department with your young child gbKd7
Dear sir, I am writing to raise a complain on your staff who did not treat well with patients and with others too besides I have heard about your hospital a one among the best- and well-known hospitals in treating patients and behavioral manner towards the people. Recently my younger daughter got sick due to food poisoning and rushed to your hospital were expected to be treated well, unfortunately what I have heard was wrong. I rushed to hospital and looking for doctor because she was dying out of pain. I was running here and there searching for doctor but none was responding and everyone was careless besides they were chitchatting rather than receiving the patient and start treatment. After a long wait and argument with the hospital staff they started treatment. Hoping an appropriate action towards such a careless staff. I insist you please take care of such incidents should not be repeated as delay in treating patients may cause death. Yours truly,
Dear sir,

I am writing to raise a
The word 'complain' is a verb. Did you mean the noun "complaint"?
complain
on your staff who did not treat well with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
and with others too
besides
I have heard about your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
a one among the best- and well-known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
in treating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
and behavioral manner towards the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Recently my younger daughter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
sick due to food poisoning and rushed to your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to
be treated
well, unfortunately what I have heard was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. I rushed to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
and looking for doctor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she was dying out of pain. I was running here and there searching for doctor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
none was responding and everyone was careless
besides
they were chitchatting
rather
than receiving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patient
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
treatment. After a long wait and argument with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
staff they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
treatment.

Hoping an appropriate action towards such a careless staff.

I insist you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
take care of such incidents should not
be repeated
as delay in treating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
may cause death.

Yours
truly
,
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IELTS letter local hospital’s Emergency Department with your young child

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
164 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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