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Letter to the parents to apply for a household maid and look after children in a house

Letter to the parents to apply for a household maid and look after children in a house KYpA3
This is with reference to an advertisement in the Australian magazine and I am writing this letter as I would like to apply for the same. Please be informed that I really like to work in a house and manage household activities. Looking after children is a responsibility that needs someone who can understand and connect with the children in person and I beleive that I have the decent experience to manage the stuff. I would like to inform you that I have also worked as a household maid in an Indian familiy previously to look after 6 year old baby girl for 3 years. I was so fortunate to be a part of the Indian family that gave me the opportunity to manage the kid but also take care other household stuff. The job demanded to handle daily/ monthly activities that includes preparing breakfast, electricity bills, shopping grocery, etc. In addition to this, I have also completed a diploma couse in first aid. I have never been to australia but if I get a chance to visit, I would like to spend my time by visiting the tourist attractions, meeting new people and would definitely try new food. I would like to thank you for taking your time to read my letter. Kindly do let me know if you need any further details from my end and recommendations. I will look forward for your response. Kind regards, Atul Arora
This is with reference to an advertisement in the Australian
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
magazine and
I am writing this letter as I would like to apply for the same.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
be informed
that I
really
like to work in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and manage household activities. Looking after children is a responsibility that needs someone who can understand and connect with the children in person and I
Possible spelling mistake found.
beleive
that I have the decent experience to manage the stuff. I would like to inform you that I have
also
worked as a household maid in an Indian
Possible spelling mistake found.
familiy
previously to look after 6 year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
baby girl for 3 years. I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
fortunate to be a part of the Indian family that gave me the opportunity to manage the kid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
take care other household stuff. The job demanded to handle daily/ monthly activities that includes preparing breakfast, electricity bills, shopping grocery, etc.
In addition
to this, I have
also
completed a diploma
Possible spelling mistake found.
couse
in
first
aid. I have never been to
Possible spelling mistake found.
australia
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to visit, I would like to spend my time by visiting the tourist attractions, meeting new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and would definitely try new food. I would like to thank you for taking your time to read my letter. Kindly do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me know if you need any
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
from my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
and recommendations. I will look forward for your response.

Kind regards,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Atul
Possible spelling mistake found.
Arora
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IELTS letter Letter to the parents to apply for a household maid and look after children in a house

Letter
  American English
2 paragraphs
239 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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