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Letter to the manager to inform him that I would like to spend six months working in the company’s other head office in another country

Letter to the manager to inform him that I would like to spend six months working in the company’s other head office in another country gb1MD
Dear Madam Laura, I’m writing to inform you that I would like to work in the company’s head office in another country. I think that working in a new place and different enviroment could changes me a lot, and it might helps me develops a new skills. The other office provides an improval master classes which I’m so interestes to join. It is provides an Ielts master classes to acheive 7 and above, takiny Ielts would help me to study master in United Kingdom, and it is my goal at the moment. I asked Dana and Noor to take my place and do my work until I come back, and if the need any help I could enter a Zoom videocall so we discuss the problems. Mr. Ahmad also supported me and volunteers to help both Noor and Dana. I also would like to ask you to arrange for me the admission with the supervisers. I just notice that your cousin works there, so can you please ask her for more details about the company? And if she could guide me to a flat which located perfectly near to the company? Waiting for your reply. Best regards, Hessa Alwehibi
Dear Madam Laura, I’m writing to inform you that I would like to work in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
’s head office in another country. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that working in a new place and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake found.
enviroment
could
The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: "change"
changes
me a lot, and it might
The verb 'might' requires the base form of the verb: "help"
helps
me develops a new
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "skill"?
skills
. The other office provides an
Possible spelling mistake found.
improval
master classes which I’m
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "interests", the plural form of the noun 'interest'?
interestes
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
. It is provides an
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ielts
master classes to
Possible spelling mistake found.
acheive
7 and above,
Possible spelling mistake found.
takiny
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ielts
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
me to study master
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the United Kingdom".
in United Kingdom
, and it is my goal at the moment. I asked Dana and Noor to take my place and do my work until I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back, and if the need any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
I could enter a Zoom videocall
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we discuss the problems. Mr. Ahmad
also
supported me and volunteers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
both Noor and Dana. I
also
would like to ask you to arrange for me the admission with the
Possible spelling mistake found.
supervisers
. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
notice that your cousin works there,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
can you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
ask her for more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
? And if she could guide me to a flat which located
perfectly
near to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
? Waiting for your reply. Best regards,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hessa
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
Alwehibi
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IELTS letter Letter to the manager to inform him that I would like to spend six months working in the company’s other head office in another country

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
198 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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