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letter to parents for job of governess

letter to parents for job of governess alKB7
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter as I came across an advertisement for requirement of governess to take care of a six years aged toddler. I found this job pretty interesting as I am actively involved with little munchkins in my playschool. When I saw your advertisement I found myself to be fittest candidate as I am currently working as a primary tutor in Mid Day School of Della, Wellington. I am familiar with day care activities of tiny kids and I believe that I easily gel-up with them. For instance, I would love to share my experience with a boy name Richie. He is 4 yrs mature boy who comes to our day-school and eats his lunch daily from my hands. I am fond of tiny kids and keenly get along with them. Certainly, I believe that if I get this job then my two problems will sort out. As I am doing my studies from Wellington School Of Business I will get accommodation nearby and in addition I would not ought to find any part-time job for covering my expenses. It would be great to say that I would be engaged for whole day in my studies and taking care of your son. I am looking forward to your swift reply. Yours faithfully, Mansi Sharma
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter as I came across an advertisement for requirement of governess to take care of a six years aged toddler. I found this job pretty interesting as I am
actively
involved with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
munchkins in my playschool.

When I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
your advertisement I found myself to be
A determiner is probably missing here: "the fittest".
fittest
candidate as I am
currently
working as a primary tutor in Mid Day School of Della, Wellington. I am familiar with day care activities of tiny kids and I believe that I
easily
gel-up with them.
For instance
, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to share my experience with a boy name Richie. He is 4 yrs mature boy who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to our day-school and eats his lunch daily from my hands. I am fond of tiny kids and
keenly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
along with them.

Certainly
, I believe that if I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
this job then my two problems will sort out. As I am doing my studies from Wellington School Of Business I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
accommodation nearby and
in addition
I would not ought to find any part-time job for covering my expenses. It would be great to say that I would
be engaged
for whole day in my studies and taking care of your son.

I am looking forward to your swift reply.

Yours
faithfully
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mansi
Sharma
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IELTS letter letter to parents for job of governess

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
219 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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