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letter to mom about discrimination

letter to mom about discrimination drgLr
Don’t be like your mother, ok? What is the definition of family? Is family truly a place to come back, to share, to be sympathized as people often say? Or is it a more uncomplicated place, where everyone just loves each other and be loved unconditionally? But ironically … if I give my love only without ever receiving any responses, do I have a family? It is possible that several admissions I am going to share below are not new to you, not the most heartbreaking story you have ever read; nevertheless, it is my childhood, a childhood was deprived of mommy’s love, an interminable and miserable childhood. However, I just hold a hope this letter will reach a person who actually needs to read those. “Dear mommy, One more night I spent thinking about you, endlessly walking through those lines of thinking made me could not hold back the tears and eventually burst out crying regardless of thousands times promising to myself not to feel hurt. I miss you and all my first childhood memory when you were still there with me. For the first 10 years of happiness, the first 10 years being embraced by mommy’s love, I supposed to own everything in this immense world, but then he arbitrarily gave himself the right to deprive you of my life in such a cruel way. But even then, I still have to be strong and carry on my life by myself, right? I suddenly realize that myself was already able to mature on my own after all these years without you beside, not because of the time, but it is by virtue of the emotional scar when a bunch of similar loss came over and over again. Not because I clutch the pain all the time, it is due to aunts who keep reminding these bad things and then it induces persistent scars going along with me, mom. Don’t worry, mom, I still properly have a chance to go to school, have the same routine, activities and fun that other friends do. Although aunts do not allow me to be materialistically deprived, behind this seemingly normal facade, I am merely a child who yearns for love, after all. At the moment living with my new family, I know that no one can love me unconditionally like the way you did, other family members just consider myself important after many objects in the house, they simply bring me up for their duty, for the compulsory context and since being criticized by other people scares them. I am really jealous of my brother, because he has a chance to be with his parents, he does not have to undertake all from feeble things to important things in that house, does not have to make a lot of efforts in order to win any people’s hearts; he just needs to sit there and everything in this world seems to be gentle to him, for the only reason: he is a boy, the first son in family. Despite all of my attempts to behave like an obedient child, I ended up still getting scolded and being berated: “CAUSE YOU ARE A GIRL. ” Am I wrong to be a girl? I can choose what gender I would become, mom? No equal treatments for girls, right, mom? They believe women are worthless except giving birth for their husbands, they say women must stay in the kitchen and they claim women only have to look for one husband, then born a nephew, all of it is already a big blessing. They rumor your desertion was due to the fact that my gender is not a boy. That’s not the truth, is it mom? No matter how many times I have told I hate hearing those words, even though I cut my long hair, though I made a lot of efforts in school performance so that I can get credit for it, all their perception still is that girls do not need much education. All of my efforts have been rewarded by…. I am more judicious than my peers. I become more timid and self-conscious every time being compared to other friends. I talk less since all of my braves I gradually lose them after every attempt to voice my opinion and then I failed. It is the feeling of disrespect, not even a comforting or encouraging word. It is even like all the guilt in the world is mine because I was born, because I cannot be as strong as the boys and just weeping all the time. There are things even if I don’t want to recall, they keep dredging up as no status in this family for me “I have rights, and you, shut up! Cause you’re a girl”. “I’ve worked so hard to bring you up, so you must be grateful to me, don’t be like your mother, a good-for-nothing woman ignoring family. ” Too many tragedies keep happening on a daily basis, that’s why I should get used to them, get used to the preconception of discriminating against women and in favor of men in this society. And I know, the only things I can do right now is to become stronger, so that standing up against this tough period. My past self of that day used to extremely hate you, but now I can have many sympathies for your inmost feeling during those hard years, it was all for me. I was born like the way other kids were; although my appearance was not recognized by paternal line, though whether there were happy sounds for me or not, I know you always stay by my side, protecting me in such precarious situations. And my present self can perceive how lucky and strong I am to exist and carry on my own life. Even though I snivel through the rest of the lonely night, no matter how this society keeps disparaging women, discriminating in gender, even if my heart is broken by weakness more thousands times, can anyone clumsy like me do anything to change their outdated mindset? But I cannot give up and have to move on for my preceding endeavor? For a day of freedom to see you again without any burdens, or at least to wait for one day when I become better than ever, paying no attention to criticisms around, for myself only. But anyway, those aunts are still my adopters, still accept to be a fragile shield for me in front of all the storms until I am mature enough to face life. Perhaps I may not be like you in the future, mom. Because I want my future self to be a woman, who will be more successful and unyielding, no more reliance on anyone else, and be brave to face against everything on her own. I will prove to them that woman can also do what a man can do, she can totally be a queen by herself without waiting for any princes to show up, showing them that men and women are equal. I will write my own story in this life, in thousands of other lives. Mom, can you feel me? And if so, wish me luck. ” I hope that in the future, maybe in any world, our women will be loved, will be appreciated, since we deserve these respect and more. To those who used to be or supposed to be berated by society and suffer from gender discrimination, don’t give up or hurt yourself just because of those words, love yourself more, take care of yourself more and don’t immerse in fleeting criticisms. We cannot reform anyone’s mind, we cannot change the fact that we are women. Instead of being upset, hopeless, why don’t we feel grateful and happy about our gender?
Don’t be like your mother, ok?

What is the definition of family?

Is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
truly
a place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back, to share, to
be sympathized
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
say? Or is it a more uncomplicated place, where everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loves
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
unconditionally
?

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
ironically
… if I give my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
without ever receiving any responses, do I have a family?

It is possible that several admissions I am going to share below are not new to you, not the most heartbreaking story you have ever read;
nevertheless
, it is my childhood, a childhood
was deprived
of
In some contexts, this is childish language. Consider alternatives.
mommy
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
, an interminable and miserable childhood.
However
, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
hold a hope this letter will reach a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
actually needs to read those.

“Dear
In some contexts, this is childish language. Consider alternatives.
mommy
,

One more night I spent thinking about you,
endlessly
walking through those lines of thinking made me could not hold back the tears and
eventually
burst out crying regardless of thousands
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
promising to myself not to feel hurt.

I miss you and all my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
childhood memory when you were
still
there with me. For the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
10 years of happiness, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
10 years
being embraced
by
In some contexts, this is childish language. Consider alternatives.
mommy
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
, I supposed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
everything in this immense
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then he
arbitrarily
gave himself the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
to deprive you of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in such a cruel way.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
even then, I
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be strong and carry on my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
by myself,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
? I
suddenly
realize that myself was already able to mature on my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
after all
these years without you beside, not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is by virtue of the emotional scar when a bunch of similar loss came over and over again. Not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I clutch the pain all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, it is due to aunts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
reminding these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things and then it induces persistent scars going along with me, mom.

Don’t worry,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mom
, I
still
properly
have a chance to go to school, have the same routine, activities and fun that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
friends do. Although aunts do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
me to be
materialistically
deprived, behind this
seemingly
normal facade, I am
merely
a child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
yearns for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
,
after all
. At the moment living with my new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, I know that no one can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
me
unconditionally
like the way you did,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
consider myself
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
objects in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, they
simply
bring me up for their duty, for the compulsory context and since
being criticized
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
scares
them. I am
really
jealous of my brother,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he has a chance to be with his parents, he does not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
undertake all from feeble things to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things in that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, does not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
efforts in order to win any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s hearts; he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
needs to sit there and everything in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
seems to be gentle to him, for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
reason: he is a boy, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
son in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. Despite all of my attempts to behave like an obedient child, I ended up
still
getting scolded and
being berated
:

“CAUSE YOU ARE A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
GIRL
. ”

Am I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
? I can choose what gender I would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mom
? No equal treatments for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mom
? They believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are worthless except giving birth for their husbands, they say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
stay in the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
kitchen and
they claim
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
look for one husband, then born a nephew, all of it is already a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
blessing. They rumor your desertion was due to the fact that my gender is not a boy. That’s not the truth, is it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mom
? No matter how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
I hate hearing those words,
even though
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
my long hair, though I made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
efforts in school performance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
credit for it, all their perception
still
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
do not need much education.

All of my efforts have
been rewarded
by…. I am more judicious than my peers. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
more timid and self-conscious every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
being compared
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
friends.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
talk less since all of my braves I
gradually
lose them after every attempt to voice my opinion and then I failed. It is the feeling of disrespect, not even a comforting or encouraging word. It is even like all the guilt in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is mine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
was born
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I cannot be as strong as the boys and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
weeping all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. There are things even if I don’t want to recall, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
dredging up as no status in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
for me “I have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
, and you, shut up! Cause you’re a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl”
. “I’ve worked
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to bring you up,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be grateful to me, don’t be like your mother, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
-for-nothing woman ignoring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. ”

Too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tragedies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
happening on a daily basis, that’s why I should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to them,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to the preconception of discriminating against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and in favor of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
in this society. And I know, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
things I can do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
stronger,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that standing up against this tough period.

My past self of that day
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
extremely
hate you,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sympathies for your inmost feeling during those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
years, it was all for me. I
was born
like the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
kids were; although my appearance was not recognized by paternal line, though whether there were happy sounds for me or not, I know you always stay by my side, protecting me in such precarious situations.

And my present self can perceive how lucky and strong I am to exist and carry on my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Even though
I snivel through the rest of the lonely night, no matter how this society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keeps
disparaging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, discriminating in gender, even if my heart
is broken
by weakness more thousands
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, can anyone clumsy like me do anything to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their outdated mindset?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I cannot give up and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
on for my preceding endeavor? For a day of freedom to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
you again without any burdens, or at least to wait for one day when I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
better than ever, paying no attention to criticisms around, for myself
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
anyway, those aunts are
still
my adopters,
still
accept to be a fragile shield for me in front of all the storms until I am mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to face life.

Perhaps I may not be like you in the future,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mom
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
I want my future self to be a woman,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
will be more successful and unyielding, no more reliance on anyone else, and be brave to face against everything on her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. I will prove to them that woman can
also
do what a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
can do, she can
totally
be a queen by herself without waiting for any princes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
up, showing them that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are equal. I will write my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
story in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, in thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Mom, can you feel me? And if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, wish me luck. ”

I hope that in the future, maybe in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
, will
be appreciated
, since we deserve these respect and more. To those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be or supposed to
be berated
by society and suffer from gender discrimination, don’t give up or hurt yourself
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of those words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
yourself more, take care of yourself more and don’t immerse in fleeting criticisms. We cannot reform anyone’s mind, we cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the fact that we are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
Instead
of
being upset
, hopeless, why don’t we feel grateful and happy about our gender?
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IELTS letter letter to mom about discrimination

Letter
  American English
21 paragraphs
1304 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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